Writing and Eating and Anxiety - Three of the Four Basic Life Groups

[teddy_radiator]

TheHubs™ and I are currently eating lots of plant-based stuff. We're also eating up all meat and dairy products until we done with them, so I don't know if that qualifies for doing something good or not. But we have been trying some fairly good plant-based meat substitutes and like them. We've done this before and I failed spectacularly - mainly because I tried to exclusively substitute tofu for meat and it was a disaster of monumental proportions. I cannot cook tofu. And I don't know what I'm doing, so I don't even know if I dislike it or not. What I need is for someone who really knows what they are doing to cook me some decent tofu and tell me, "This, now THIS is the way good tofu is supposed to taste." Then I'll know for sure if I actually do like it and just don't know how to cook it, or, like eggplant, I can't stand it no matter how well it's prepared.

Still battling depression - still fighting the good fight. It's approaching two years since TheHubs™' stroke. We still talk about it alot. Both of us were deeply traumatised by it, and right or wrong, it still haunts us a bit. Both of us are doing all the right things - eating well, taking our meds, getting regular checkups, but the event itself fucked me up mightily. I am still prone to bouts of anxiety and fear. I have been a fearful person all my life. Some Leo, huh? I'm the original cowardly lion. I find myself afraid about 70% of the time. I hate it, but I think it's just the way I'm wired. Talking about what happened helps, and writing helps, and working helps, but still, sometimes I'm almost paralyzed by fear. Now we are nearing the two year anniversary of the stroke, and I find myself afraid of that day. Hell, I get anxious if we drive past the parking lot where it first happened.

I started writing a short story today. We drove by an old house yesterday, and we started talking about a prompt for a story. We knocked it around while we drove from job to job, and today I've worked on it. It's around 2K, and I don't know if anything else will come from it, but TheHubs™ cried like a baby as I read it to him. I think that's about the best compliment I've ever been given. He even mentioned it on Facebook today. It makes me think I should submit it somewhere, but I've got no idea where. If you have any suggestions, I'd love to hear them.

Comments

[kellychambliss.livejournal.com]

Sending hugs and good wishes, my dear. Depression sucks. It makes perfect sense to me that you'd feel anxiety and fear about the stroke: terribly scary stuff. You're doing what you need to do in terms of eating and exercise; that's a lot to be proud of.

I wish I could hep with the tofu, but frankly, I can't stand the stuff. Ditto eggplant. Why can't it be cheese that is the thing that is good for us?

[too-dle-oo.livejournal.com]

Oh, if you love cheese and wish tofu tasted like it... you are in luck! Whenever I'm craving, say, deep fried cheese balls or mozzarella sticks, I bread up some tofu and bake it. It's a pretty decent replacement, if I do say so myself. (But I'm not a dairy eater and haven't been regularly in maybe 4-5 years, so I'm not constantly comparing the tofu dish to the real thing.) This takes about 5 active minutes of doing things, but those 300 seconds are spaced out over a good deal of time.

Here's what you do! First, gather ingredients: FIRM tofu, large flake nutritional yeast, salt, and whatever other seasoning you like. Then cube the tofu and toss it in a marinade. Soy sauce and sweet chili sauce? Great. A little EVOO and garlic? Sure. WHATEVER YOU LIKE. Come back hours later and pull out of the marinade, letting the cubes air dry on a sheet pan for an hour or so. Then toss the cubes in a little olive oil, and next add nutritional yeast so the cubes are coated in the stuff. Put back on a sheet pan, on parchment paper or a silpat to prevent sticking, and back for 20-30 minutes at 350*, stopping to turn the cubes halfway through. When the tofu is ready, the outside is crispy and crunchy and has that umami flavor from the nutritional yeast, and the middle melts in your mouth.

DELICIOUS.

[kellychambliss.livejournal.com]

Thank you! This does sound delicious, and I look forward to trying it. Very kind of you to type out the recipe.

[too-dle-oo.livejournal.com]

Tofu is a fickle beast, and it has taken several vegetarian friends to convince me that it's delicious. BUT IT IS. Or... at least... it CAN be. It's terrible when plain.

Other great ways of using the firm stuff: I love a vegan saag paneer, just swapping out the paneer for baked tofu (prepared as above), and I love a bowl of soup with ramen or rice noodles, a nice broth, loads of fresh vegetables, and raw tofu. As long as you let the tofu sit in the broth for at least 3-4 minutes, it absorbs the flavor.

The soft stuff is a good replacement for ricotta in a baked eggplant parmesan (and swap the parmesan for, again, flaky nutritional yeast), or in a non-dairy cheesecake.

[nocturnus33]

I completely understand your anxiety. I always fear for hubby. Did you ever have the opportunity to talk about it with a professional? It might help a little.

As for healthy food, hubby and I have started caring about it. We tend to cook at home, hubby is a great amateur chef, and we eat "as the world is coming to an end" (My friend's words, not mine) For now, we are trying having lots of containers with different homemade stuff: green leaves, chicken breast cubes, pepper, tuna, black beans, corn, mushrooms, peas, cherry tomatoes, olives, etc. So we made either tacos or a salad. At first, we made a big one with all the things. Now we have them in separate containers and we choose what to add. We try to keep the dressing simple: Lemmon, olive oil and salt. Sometimes we add mustard and honey. We are also cultivating cooking herbs and have them at easy reach at our kitchen: Thyme, sage, oregano and basil.

I'm looking towards reading your story if you decide to publish it.

Ps: I'd never know something like "good tofu"

[gelsey.livejournal.com]

Hugs! Tofu is difficult. I eat it occasionally but I prefer meat, so.

[too-dle-oo.livejournal.com]

Three cheers for the muse giving you some original fiction today! That's marvelous.

And anxiety over health issues? This I understand, living as I do with a strange illness that requires regular chemo and occasionally leaves me partially paralyzed and hopefully won't kill me. But it's different, I think, living with the illness yourself versus being the primary caretaker. When I became one of my mother's primary caretakers during her bout with cancer, I realized that I was much more worried for her than I was for myself. Either way, though, finding peace in the midst of uncertainty can be a complicated process, and we all discover different ways to do it. May you find peace for yourself and the Hubs in new ways every day, and in the meanwhile, take care of yourself!

[pauraque]

right or wrong, it still haunts us a bit

Something I've had to learn in my own life is that emotions aren't right or wrong, they're just information about what's going on inside you. You both went through something huge and terrifying, and there are no rules about how (or how long) you're allowed to be affected by it. Honestly, two years doesn't seem like a long time, considering the enormity of the event!

[mywitch.livejournal.com]

You guys are doing great, with the food and movement! I'm proud of y'all :D
I saw Hubs' post on facebook and it makes me so happy for you. You are a dynamite writer and such a lovely friend. What genre is your story? I could ask a friend who might have some ideas of where to submit it.
lover U

[teddyradiator.livejournal.com]

Thanks babe. Your sweet words are a balm to my soul.

The story is a fantasy story about a person who travels, not back in time, but back to a moment in time, and is able to relive it with people. She is able to go to the perfect 'golden moment', usually associated with a house, or a place or a thing. It's kind of wistful and a little sad, and I don't really focus on anything but the moment itself, and the emotions it evokes to someone observing it from the outside.

It all came about when we passed this lovely old abandoned house, and there was something so lonely and sad about it. I told Trev I would give anything if my superpower was that I could go back to that house's heyday, and see what it was like when it was loved and cared for, and the people who lived there, before it became neglected and empty.

[theimpossiblegl.livejournal.com]

I was curious about the story he mentioned on the Facebook 😊 The concept about the abandoned house remind of a song that was played in The Divine Secrets of the YaYa Sisterhood. And that my mind went there makes me realize just how tired I am 🤣

I wish I lived closer - I could make you the good tofu. My sister and I were vegetarian for years (she was vegan at one point), and I still don’t eat much meat besides poultry. One of the secrets to tofu is pressing it and making sure it is a little on the dry side before you cook it. I also marinate it before grilling it - it takes on the flavor of whatever you marry it with, and it makes an interesting addition with some good seasoning. I still prefer a brand of tofu sour cream over the regular stuff, and for the life of me I can’t remember the brand name - oh lordie. It’s been one of those days.

[delphipsmith]

Health scares can have a profound and long-lasting emotional effect. Don't feel bad about it -- it's not a weakness or cowardice, it's just a natural reaction to something very, very frightening. It can take many moons to put into perspective and come to terms with, and it's ok to let the echoes fade at their own pace.

Places to submit stories, hmmm... is it fantasy, SF, horror?

[teddyradiator.livejournal.com]

It's mainly a fantasy story, about someone who can travel back to a particular moment in the life of an object, in this case, a house. It's a short story, about 2K in length.

[delphipsmith]

Some ideas: Clarkesworld, Strange Horizons, Uncanny, Silver Blade.

[arcanetrivia]

If you can find anywhere to get fresh-made tofu, it's leaps and bounds better than pre-packaged stuff. There was a guy at our local farmer's market (who unfortunately had to recently go back to Japan for family reasons) whose tofu I would just about eat plain. You could also try tempeh or, if no one has gluten issues, seitan. Or mushrooms can play the part of meat in some dishes, if you like them.

(FWIW I have never enjoyed eggplant either, no matter how well it supposedly is prepared. Knowing that millions of people all over the world like it, I occasionally re-try it just to see if I have a magic "oh, this is fine now" moment like I did with mushrooms after hating them for years, but it hasn't happened yet. Best I can say is that we have an Israeli hummus shop around here that makes baba ghanoush I don't hate, but I wouldn't choose it voluntarily.)

[delphipsmith]

My mom's secret to making it crispy is tossing with cornmeal and then baking on parchment vs frying or sauteing. My two favorite tofu recipes are Crispy tofu and broccoli with sesame-peanut sauce, and Roasted squash and tofu with ginger.