It Took Its Sweet Time

[teddy_radiator]

Okay, I guess it's official. I'm weird. It's taken a week before the PCD (post con depression) hit me. I was too busy working my fat backside off last week upon my return to notice. Now that I have a little breathing room, I'm having all sorts of strange dreams about con - which involve my father, grandfather, and one of my uncles. All who have passed. They came to see me on Sunday at Con, and I was frantically trying to get to my talk at 11:30, but had to find my notes. WTF, people?

I dreamed about Con all night.

Well, it was a very important experience, and one that was very emotional in many ways for me. I guess everyone feels that way when you are saturated with such intensity for almost a week. The best thing is the friendships I made and the ones I increased, and the insights I gained about others and myself.

To be honest, though, I really need to get cracking on with things, so please, brain, get it out of your system and let me just have the normal strange dreams, TYVM.

Allergies have been reported in the 'Holy Crap, It's Bad' category this year, and I believe it. I've not had a bad bout with allergies in more years that I care to remember, but I'm really struggling. Wheezing, head full of porridge, gummy eyes, the Full Yuck. And allergy medicine, while very effective, knocks me unconscious. The non-drowsy stuff makes my heart race sickeningly, so I just have to deal with it. I either suffer, or sleep.Boo.

The good news is I ran my very dark fic idea by stgulik and not only did she not run screaming from it, but actually said, "It's a solid story line." She also said it was too multi-layered for the prompfest prompt, so I need to save it. This is a good thing; I don't think I could finish it before the end of the month, and I do so want to write it. There are several things I have languishing in my 'Editing in Progress' file that I need to finish, and hopefully now with a little less traumatic work schedule I can to this. I have come to realise that work was seriously burning me out, and I'm still a little bit in recovery mode. The big problem was that nothing looked right anymore. I have sat on a chapter of HM for almost a month because I couldn't tell if it worked or not. It will be good to revisit and see if I have any more clarity of vision over it.

Hugs to everyone who needs them. I know many of my friends are going through a tough time right now; my thoughts are with you, and I hope you find some peace and comfort in everyday tranquility.

Comments

[bloodcult.livejournal.com]

The one con I went to bordered on being entirely too much for me. Too many people hugged me (mine is not a hugging culture). There was so much time spent indoors I had an actual real life panic attack. And afterwards I discovered strangers had taken my photo without my permission. The urge to hide in a hole was great.

On the other side of the coin the intensity of the bonding with the people I am close to a bit overwhelming as well. I wanted to take them home in my pocket.

I don't know that I could ever do it again.

I can certainly see why you'd dream about it.

[teddyradiator.livejournal.com]

I see your point entirely. I didn't mind the hugs, but the big set pieces where everyone was there left me feeling distinctly out of my element. At the ball, there I was in all my finery, and all I really wanted to do was leave and return to the room. I would have, but I lost my camera (with my key in it) and waited until the end to see if we could locate it.

We also had a party in the room with what felt like 50 people in it (there wasn't, but it felt that way to me), and I started feeling like I wanted to just go somewhere very quiet and sleep. And, of course, I felt guilty for feeling that way, because the majority of the people in the room were lovely and a joy to be around.

For someone who loves to show off like myself, you'd think I'd be in my element, but there were times when it was overwhelming to the max, and the instinct to panic and run away was very great.

But you're right - some of the people I met were so special and wonderful, and I spent my time with them just basking in the glow of it. Strangely enough, they aren't the people I dreamed about - perhaps my mind has them tucked away in a special place free from conflict.

I'm surprised your ears weren't burning, though. Favourite fanfics was a topic that came up one night, and yours were mentioned by many. Your fanfic is still counted among the best in our fandom by a lot of people.

[bloodcult.livejournal.com]

well it's nice to be remembered.

[irishredlass.livejournal.com]

Honey I know how you feel. You should have said something in the room because I could have squirreled you away without a qualm. I too need quiet time.

[teddyradiator.livejournal.com]

{{{Hugs}}} Well, you know how it is. I didn't want to be party pooper deluxe, and there was no real place to go but the bathroom! The Snake Pit was otherwise occupied at the time ;) LOL

[akatnamedeaster.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it's tough going back to the mundanes after hanging out with people you can completely be yourself around. I've always had a touch of the blues after a fannish get together.

I've also had that feeling of being overwhelmed and my solution is to always have my own room or share with one other low key person. I'm an introvert by nature so I can hit a limit where I need to go and hide.

Man, I'm so sorry I missed out this time around.

[teddyradiator.livejournal.com]

The next time, the Hubs and I are coming together, and I think I'll be a little cooler, knowing what to expect. You just want to do and see it all your first time round, and I got totally bowled over by it. I could never do those mega-Cons, I don't think. I would just remain in permanent freak-out mode.

I was so sorry you couldn't come as well. You were one of three people I was so looking forward to meeting and spending time with who were unable to come, and I missed you all so much. This was a good Con to have a first con experience, I think. It was small enough to feel like you recognised all the faces, but big enough to be really impressive.

[mimimanderly.livejournal.com]

What akatnamedeaster said was what I was thinking all along: it's probably best for introverted sorts to share a room with just one other similarly low-key person. I would be dying after one day with no alone time, let alone the better part of a week. But from the pictures that I've seen, it looks like a manageable number of people attending... not like the mega-cons.

[toblass.livejournal.com]

Where are all these con-photos I keep hearing about?

[teddyradiator.livejournal.com]

Droxy has a bunch. I have two jump drives with them, but I haven't had time to do anything about them, but check out Droxy's and Logospilgrim's pages - they have some awesome pics. And FB has a ton as well.

[mimimanderly.livejournal.com]

There haven't been as many as I would have liked to have seen, but Droxy posted some... Sempra a few... and Logospilgrim posted some as well. Also there is footage of the fashion show and Logospilgrim's talk on YouTube. People are holding back!

[teddyradiator.livejournal.com]

Well, I lost my camera the last evening of con :( so all my lovely pics were lost. Note to self: download at the end of each evening!!!!

There are a lot of pics that were given to me on a jump drive by Sabrebabe, but I just haven't had time to go through them. There are hundreds, and Droxy sent me 80 more yesterday. There's a bunch on Facebook as well, but I'm sort of reducing my FB time, simply because I found I was constantly going on there to check up. Now I'm limiting myself to a couple of times daily, but I did see some really good photos. I might upload a few to tumblr if I can figure out how.

[toblass.livejournal.com]

Ok, Teddy...when you find the photos of happy LJ fangurls, please post those. :D

[snarkysneak.livejournal.com]

Here's my Flickr account. I am not done adding stuff and I don't edit like Droxy, but there ya go.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/41621096@N07/

[teddyradiator.livejournal.com]

Some great photos, babe! I'm still giggling over the codpiece. Why yes, I am twelve years old.

[snarkysneak.livejournal.com]

How could you not giggle over the codpiece?

[toblass.livejournal.com]

I agree, they seem to be holding back! ;) I guess I don't need to see hundreds of photos of Con itself...I'm looking to see the one or two snapshots of happy fangurls on my flist. *grumbles*

[snarkysneak.livejournal.com]

Here is a link to my Flickr account. I will post some more though.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/41621096@N07/

[mimimanderly.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much for the link! It was wonderful picking out my friends! And Teddy -- I got to see you in your gown and the cape Droxy made for the ball! Squeee! I love the way the cape shimmered on you!

[snarkysneak.livejournal.com]

It is hard to get back into the swing of things...exhausting too! You may or may not believe it, but I am actually extremely introverted and have to psych myself up to going to cons. There are soooo many people and so much going on that it is overwhelming. I totally understand your desire to hide. I miss the really late night things at HP and ComicCons because I *have* to get away for 6-8 h or so or I will have a meltdown. I think part of the reason I liked Misti-Con so much is that it was so much smaller than any convention (including science meetings) I have ever attended. I got to spend much more time with a smaller group of people (you and the rest of the room) than normal. It was so nice to be able to actually talk with people. :)

BOO on the allergies. It sucks being allergic to freakin everything, eh?

YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!!!! NEW STORY!!!!

[teddyradiator.livejournal.com]

Well, I thought you were awesome. In fact, you were in your Salazar Ball Outfit in my dreams. I think because I kept dreaming of the ball and I remember you 'escorting' me there.

I don't think I could manage a mega-Con. I liked the size of MISTI a lot. I will attend more talks next time, but it was so much fun watching you and Droxy and Shanemagnum getting ready, I just couldn't tear myself away most of the time.

Thank you for the new story shout! I've been getting worried that I wasn't being given any new fanfic stories (I'm hot and heavy into final editing of my o-novel, and that's priority right now), but I've been getting lots of things lately, so now that con's over, I think I need to get busy!

[dickgloucester.livejournal.com]

The crash after my first con was horrible. Look at it this way: you wouldn't be crashing so hard if you hadn't had such a wonderful, fulfilling time. *hugs*

[droxy.livejournal.com]

Hugs. The reason you were in the second room was so you could hide. =) You didn't need to feel guilty about any feelings. We've also been a respite for introverts. The mead tasting- that was Deb's event and due to news folks were getting I thought the diversion was a good thing. We call that second room the introverts room. What we did was very typical of a big or small con. Just that this con was about 500 people tops.

Con is very hard on introverts, but they keep coming back. =) Logospilgrim is the introverts introvert. So is VJ.

I think with you rooming with hubby that you will have your quiet room. Just know you can come hang out with your buddies. =) Our door is always open for Teddy.

Pics are very slow going. I do not like the windows 7 photo manager. the cropping tool sucks. I am posting utube vids from others.

You got me at dark fic..SQUEEEEEEES.

Allergies- AllegraD makes me human.

[teddyradiator.livejournal.com]

Ah yes, dark, dark fic. Loads of anguish, remorse, guilt, anger, helplessness. He's gonna suffer. Oooooh, yes, he's gonna hurt.

Just saw Snarky's flikr - some great photos - loved the photobomb you did! ;)

I just haven't gone through them all yet. To be honest, losing my camera took the wind out of my sails a bit. I feel so frustrated that I didn't download off the camera at the end of each day (like I do at home - DUH), but I have the jump drives Sabrebabe did for us, and I will start going through them.

Thank you for making me feel so welcome - it really warms my heart that you'll always welcome me back! I'm sure we'll come round - we won't be strangers.

I have to finish up my strange little promptfest fic, then start making poor Severus bleed for my art. ;)

[droxy.livejournal.com]

FLIKR converted tot he new blog on me. I hate it. I have yet to locate the photo bomb. LOL

Ohh DARK FIC! how do I bribe teddy?

Yes prompt fest!

[teddyradiator.livejournal.com]

Sweetie, this dark fic is on the house! Call it a thank you for pinning me to the wall ;)

[irishredlass.livejournal.com]

If droxy can't bribe you can I?

[teddyradiator.livejournal.com]

No need for bribes, babe. This one is already on the runway, ready for take-off!

[droxy.livejournal.com]

SSSSSSSSSQQQQQQQQQQQQQUUUUUUUUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!

[droxy.livejournal.com]

I hope someone took pics of that....;>

[teddyradiator.livejournal.com]

Oh, I sort of hope they didn't. I prefer the scene as it looks in my head, compared to what I actually look like...

[beffeysue.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry you're having to deal with the "down," but it sounds like you had a great time! I think going to the next con with the Hubs will make for a wonderful week.

I loved you appearance on the fashion show. You make me laugh out loud, girl. Would you like some?

New DARK Fic? Angst? I can't wait!

*Hugs to you and the Hubs*

[teddyradiator.livejournal.com]

It was tremendous fun, and I enjoyed it so much. Hopefully next time there will be a little less of me. I want to lose a little weight (well, I'd like to lose a lot, but we'll see)

Yes, the Muse has been giving me some really dark stuff to play with. He's such a naughty Muse.... :)

[stgulik.livejournal.com]

Saying a story line is "solid" is one of my highest beta compliments. You probably know this! Now, just make sure the plot begins by Chapter 3, and we'll truly have an accord.

[darklotus1211.livejournal.com]

I got to see your tea dominatrix outfit in the vid droxy posted of the fashion parade and now, thanks to the link, I got to see the outfit with the cape droxy made - both outfits are marvellous, my dear!

I'm glad you enjoyed con, even though it was a bit overwhelming at times. As you said, next time, with hubs along and knowing what to expect you'll have no problems, I'm sure!

As to the allergies - have you tried Claratyne (drug name Loratadine) Syrup? Like you, I have problems with both drowsy and non drowsy allergy meds (I'm out for 12hours minimum on anythng like polaramine or fenergan and most non drowsies give me palpitations) but the Clarityne seems to work without any of those nasties happening. If you haven't already, and it's available in the US, give it a try. Always read the contraindications and any possible side effects online first, of course, but you may find it does the trick.

edited because I spelt Claratyne wrong...AGAIN! (I have a mental block regarding it)