I see your point entirely. I didn't mind the hugs, but the big set pieces where everyone was there left me feeling distinctly out of my element. At the ball, there I was in all my finery, and all I really wanted to do was leave and return to the room. I would have, but I lost my camera (with my key in it) and waited until the end to see if we could locate it.
We also had a party in the room with what felt like 50 people in it (there wasn't, but it felt that way to me), and I started feeling like I wanted to just go somewhere very quiet and sleep. And, of course, I felt guilty for feeling that way, because the majority of the people in the room were lovely and a joy to be around.
For someone who loves to show off like myself, you'd think I'd be in my element, but there were times when it was overwhelming to the max, and the instinct to panic and run away was very great.
But you're right - some of the people I met were so special and wonderful, and I spent my time with them just basking in the glow of it. Strangely enough, they aren't the people I dreamed about - perhaps my mind has them tucked away in a special place free from conflict.
I'm surprised your ears weren't burning, though. Favourite fanfics was a topic that came up one night, and yours were mentioned by many. Your fanfic is still counted among the best in our fandom by a lot of people.
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Date: 2013-05-20 03:03 pm (UTC)We also had a party in the room with what felt like 50 people in it (there wasn't, but it felt that way to me), and I started feeling like I wanted to just go somewhere very quiet and sleep. And, of course, I felt guilty for feeling that way, because the majority of the people in the room were lovely and a joy to be around.
For someone who loves to show off like myself, you'd think I'd be in my element, but there were times when it was overwhelming to the max, and the instinct to panic and run away was very great.
But you're right - some of the people I met were so special and wonderful, and I spent my time with them just basking in the glow of it. Strangely enough, they aren't the people I dreamed about - perhaps my mind has them tucked away in a special place free from conflict.
I'm surprised your ears weren't burning, though. Favourite fanfics was a topic that came up one night, and yours were mentioned by many. Your fanfic is still counted among the best in our fandom by a lot of people.