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teddy_radiatorHi, all! I haven't fallen off the face of the earth, just down the rabbit hole of my creation. Work has me mainly running in circles, and apparently ripe for any bug that comes along, At least, they seem to love to jump on board as I go stumbling past. I caught something two fridays ago, which was strange and ominous; just headaches and horrible stiff and aching limbs and joints and fever. For almost three days I shivered under blankets and hurt so badly I wanted to cry. The fever finally broke in spectacular fashion (woke up with me AND the bed soaked with sweat), and after a couple of woozy days drinking anything in sight, I feel pretty much human. A couple of others on FB complained of a similar malady, so I don't know what it is, but I ain't the only one. Misery loves company.
Our car has been in the shop since February 15, and we are screaming in frustration. There was a small supplimental to the original estimate (under 2K), which the insurance assessor approved two Wednesdays ago, but we are still watiing for the fucking insurance company to pay. Until they at least send word the check is in the mail, our car is locked up tight. We have been paying ourselves for a rental car all this time, with the assurance from the same company they will reimburse us, but Crispy Christ, if they're taking this long to write a check for the car, how long are they gonna drag their feet to repay us? 6 weeks X $160 per week. It'll be a nice little chunk when we get it - if we get it.
I've been allowing stress to really get to me. Between the general puny health, the state of our disentigrating country, the car, work, etc, I've been a ball of high pressure. It all came crashing down into hard-nosed reality yesterday with a message from a Facebook friend saying his wife had suffered a major heart attack in the middle of the night, and died in the early hours this morning. She had lost consciousness and after great consultation with family memebers and the doctors, they removed her life support. She never came to.
It has been completely on my mind because 1) I am a hypochondriac and anything like this affects me, and 2) she was a couple of years younger than me. We are(were) both big women, and though I was not the smoker and drinker she was (we went over to theirs for a Guy Fawkes party and I've NEVER seen such a huge amount of booze. She could have opened her own speakeasy), the way I carry stress around is just as risky. You'd think the older I get the more I would learn about how to manage my own stress, but all the self-help guides and meditations and new age music and candles and incense in the world doesn't stop the fact that I live like those deep-water fish who explode when they near the surface of the water.
This has got to stop. It is wrecking my concentration and my happiness, and I do not want TheHubs™ to have to write those heartwrenching things on Facebook that my friend has written the past 48 hours. It's lovely to read all those nice things people are saying about her, but the sad fact of the matter is she's not around to read them anymore.
I'm having a lot of neck pain and headaches, and I think my new bi-focals may be a contributing factor.
Work continues to drive us into the ground. I like the money, but jeez, I need a break. We've been working flat out since January and they just keep piling it on. For a part time job, we're averaging over 40 hours a week.
Our daughter Catherine is coming to visit for several weeks starting April 14, and while I'm looking forward to seeing her, I'm also stressing about this, because I know we'll have to work through a lot of it, and she'll want to eat out a lot and she either wants total junk food like McDonalds or steak, which is expensive, so we'll end up spending way more money than I'd like and at the end of her visit I'll be sick of junk food. She also wants us to throw her a party for her 25th, which happens while she's here, which is another huge endeavour.
I don't know. I realise I'm whinging, but I can't seem to stop myself. Y'all are the only people I can whinge to.
TheHubs™' play run finally ends at the end of this week. I'll miss the extra money it brings but one of the consequences of having a show Wednesday through Saturday means that we only have two days in which we can work through. The others have to be cut short so he can get to the theatre. I am looking forward to getting more work in on work days, and hopefully having a couple of Fridays off.
I broke down the other day and finally watched Sherlock. After years of hearing so many of my friends pleading, insisting and demanding I watch it, I'm glad I did. I find it really fun and engrossing. Because I don't find Martin Freeman terribly attractive, I can't get into the Johnlock mania that gripped so many of my friends, but at least I understand the in jokes now. I'm looking forward to Season 4.
On, and PS -![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
gelsey, darling - thank you so much for the beautiful card which you sent me ages ago. I loved it, and I think I've been such a self-absorbed shit I've not mentioned it.
Our car has been in the shop since February 15, and we are screaming in frustration. There was a small supplimental to the original estimate (under 2K), which the insurance assessor approved two Wednesdays ago, but we are still watiing for the fucking insurance company to pay. Until they at least send word the check is in the mail, our car is locked up tight. We have been paying ourselves for a rental car all this time, with the assurance from the same company they will reimburse us, but Crispy Christ, if they're taking this long to write a check for the car, how long are they gonna drag their feet to repay us? 6 weeks X $160 per week. It'll be a nice little chunk when we get it - if we get it.
I've been allowing stress to really get to me. Between the general puny health, the state of our disentigrating country, the car, work, etc, I've been a ball of high pressure. It all came crashing down into hard-nosed reality yesterday with a message from a Facebook friend saying his wife had suffered a major heart attack in the middle of the night, and died in the early hours this morning. She had lost consciousness and after great consultation with family memebers and the doctors, they removed her life support. She never came to.
It has been completely on my mind because 1) I am a hypochondriac and anything like this affects me, and 2) she was a couple of years younger than me. We are(were) both big women, and though I was not the smoker and drinker she was (we went over to theirs for a Guy Fawkes party and I've NEVER seen such a huge amount of booze. She could have opened her own speakeasy), the way I carry stress around is just as risky. You'd think the older I get the more I would learn about how to manage my own stress, but all the self-help guides and meditations and new age music and candles and incense in the world doesn't stop the fact that I live like those deep-water fish who explode when they near the surface of the water.
This has got to stop. It is wrecking my concentration and my happiness, and I do not want TheHubs™ to have to write those heartwrenching things on Facebook that my friend has written the past 48 hours. It's lovely to read all those nice things people are saying about her, but the sad fact of the matter is she's not around to read them anymore.
I'm having a lot of neck pain and headaches, and I think my new bi-focals may be a contributing factor.
Work continues to drive us into the ground. I like the money, but jeez, I need a break. We've been working flat out since January and they just keep piling it on. For a part time job, we're averaging over 40 hours a week.
Our daughter Catherine is coming to visit for several weeks starting April 14, and while I'm looking forward to seeing her, I'm also stressing about this, because I know we'll have to work through a lot of it, and she'll want to eat out a lot and she either wants total junk food like McDonalds or steak, which is expensive, so we'll end up spending way more money than I'd like and at the end of her visit I'll be sick of junk food. She also wants us to throw her a party for her 25th, which happens while she's here, which is another huge endeavour.
I don't know. I realise I'm whinging, but I can't seem to stop myself. Y'all are the only people I can whinge to.
TheHubs™' play run finally ends at the end of this week. I'll miss the extra money it brings but one of the consequences of having a show Wednesday through Saturday means that we only have two days in which we can work through. The others have to be cut short so he can get to the theatre. I am looking forward to getting more work in on work days, and hopefully having a couple of Fridays off.
I broke down the other day and finally watched Sherlock. After years of hearing so many of my friends pleading, insisting and demanding I watch it, I'm glad I did. I find it really fun and engrossing. Because I don't find Martin Freeman terribly attractive, I can't get into the Johnlock mania that gripped so many of my friends, but at least I understand the in jokes now. I'm looking forward to Season 4.
On, and PS -
gelsey, darling - thank you so much for the beautiful card which you sent me ages ago. I loved it, and I think I've been such a self-absorbed shit I've not mentioned it. 
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no subject
Date: 2017-03-26 11:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-03-26 11:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-03-27 12:59 am (UTC)I know you are excited to see your daughter!! Maybe you can set some limits up with her regarding the food/eating out? I understand what you mean about the junk food- at first (at least for me, like on a holiday or whatever) it's Fun and Different and Yum but after a few days I start to feel like absolute shit and hate the way my wallet looks. So I get it!
Hopefully the car thing will come through, too. That's a long time to wait for something to happen over something that wasn't even your fault. GRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrr
I'm so sorry about your friend. What a terrible shock.
Please take care of yourself, Teddy Dear. You have a bunch of people who love you very much and only want the best for you. I don't know why self-care is so hard sometimes, but it is....so again, I get it. I really, really do. Make yourself a priority- focus on your health and well-being.
You are loved! *fierce hugs*
❤️
no subject
Date: 2017-03-27 03:15 am (UTC)Sorry you're having a rough time. There has been record amounts of illness this year for sure. The car thing is getting ridiculous indeed.
And yes, stress is terrible for your health. I am starting a new job tomorrow because the stress from the one I've had for the last couple of years was literally killing me. Headaches, acid reflux, insomnia, high blood pressure etc was eating me alive. Once I found my new job and put in my notice, it was a huge burden off of me, and I already have seen those symptoms start to fade. I know it is easier said than done, but do what you can to take care of yourself.
Enjoy the visit from your daughter. You may just have to set some limits. Paying so much for car drama is a tangible excuse you can give for why money is so tight.
no subject
Date: 2017-03-27 07:45 am (UTC)Life is stressful for any thinking person right now.
With regard to your daughter's visit, just set some limits re: the food. If you don't want to mention the expense of eating out and eating junk, then why not emphasise your need to take better care of yourself, especially in light of what happened to your friend's wife. You don't have to eat junk if you don't want to, and she shouldn't, either.
no subject
Date: 2017-03-27 10:20 am (UTC)Goodness. Teddy love, I am sending you a big huge hug. You need a break from this sick stuff, poor love! I hope this will be the end of it. Your productivity during all of it is admirable, but I also hope you do get that time to put your feet up.
I have no words for confronting our mortality... I am the same, to be honest... I carry this twisted, anxious fear about life and living and... bah. All the stuff hey? So hugs for both of us.
no subject
Date: 2017-03-27 03:31 pm (UTC)And I hope your insurance company can get their act together so you can get your car back! Sheesh! That's awful!