Whatever happened to 'For better, for worse'?

[teddy_radiator]

TheHubs™ and I have just returned from the wedding of two of our theatre friends. They make a lovely couple - both of them are attractive and a bit empty-headed, nice enough to like and shallow enough to be inoffensive. They sent us a nice 'save the date' reminder and a lovely heavy invite, all embossed and on creamy, thick stationery. It promised to be a very nice, albeit conventional wedding. No disco, no post party, just punch and nice finger foods and Southern sweet tea and carrot cake for dessert.

TheHubs™ had warned me that these were Bob Jones University grads, and the fact that they were getting married at Furman University's pretty chapel (itself a Southern Baptist-based school), meant I was prepared for the God love-in.

Or so I thought.

The groom's father was one of two officiates, and did the majority of the service. I have never heard a more mysogenistic, patronising wedding service in my life. The bride was urged to 'be completely submissive' to her husband in all things, and to follow his lead. She was extorted to always defer to him in all matters and to comply with his wishes and to support him in all his endeavours.

The groom was told to 'lead his wife' and show her the way she should go, and to remind her of her place. He WAS told to 'patiently encourage her' in her day to day life (big of him), but to never forget his role as head of the house and as such in charge of all household duties, including his wife.

I listened to this ten-minute long sermon about how the groom is the all-seeing, all-dancing representative of God in their home, and that the bride was the meek, subservient vessel for his pleasure, and wanted to vomit. It just reminded me of all the reasons I walked away from organised religion.

And the organist was absolute shit. What she did with Vidor's Toccata should be a criminal offence.

On the other hand, my makeup looked great and the food was decent. The bride's mother arranged it all.

The irony astounds.

Comments

[hbart.livejournal.com]

Sounds like they are preparing for a Trump presidency. Sheesh! I guess if she is fine with it, she is the one who has to deal with that dynamic in her home, but it is hard to understand in 2016 how inferior some people still treat women. Hopefully the cake was good.

[teddyradiator.livejournal.com]

Food was first rate. The funny thing is that we've been facebook friends with the dad for ages. He is known for his warmth and sense of humour. He's a nice guy. But that sermon made me furious.

Cake was delish.

[kellychambliss.livejournal.com]

One of my high school friends went to Bob Jones -- the students were bombarded with these sorts of gender messages all the time. The damage was obvious, sadly.

[teddyradiator.livejournal.com]

It's surprising to me the amount of people in the area who are very active in the local theatres who went to BJU. They are very clique-ish and elite most of the time, and have been trained to believe they are morally superior to us mere mortals. But these folks have always been very level headed (if a little shallow) and friendly, so that was the shock factor for this message today.

It was made a bit more amusing by the fact that it's very obvious that the bride's mother is the dictator in that family. She orchestrated everything, up to and including telling the bride exactly how her invitations would look.

[akatnamedeaster.livejournal.com]

Sounds like a mutually fulfilling relationship all right. /eye roll.

Glad to be a heathen!

[teddyradiator.livejournal.com]

I've never been so happy to be separated from organised religion and Christianity. It just breeds this kind of wife-as-doormat mentality. I hate it.

[akatnamedeaster.livejournal.com]

I'm sure there are women (and men) out there who want that, who genuinely feel the desire to be subservient to their mate, but having it indoctrinated into you from a young age removes that choice. If that's what you truly want your lifestyle to be, mazel tov! But it should never be something you feel compelled to -have- to do lest you spend your life alone or risk burning in a lake of fire. Just total bullshit. Humans don't come pre-programmed that way.

[mywitch.livejournal.com]

😳
Speechless

[teddyradiator.livejournal.com]

Me too! LOL We were just happy to eat the food, say hello to a few friends that were there and leave. To be honest, I was shocked to be invited. The groom was in The Explorer's Club with TheHubs™ - I think that's the sole reason we were invited.

[theimpossiblegl.livejournal.com]

It sounds a lot like my wedding ceremony, sadly. And my Ex's father did the ceremony too. *sighs* They are the reason I no longer attend church, and why I constantly question having faith. There's nothing like being brainwashed and gaslighted for years -- makes you question everything around you when you come out of it. The Ex even tried to do it again tonight, when I attempted to voice an opinion on the election.

[arwitchywoman.livejournal.com]

I see women in those relationships and just want to shake them and yell "You don't have to put up with that!"

I can promise you, as a Christian, that man is totally bastardizing St. Paul's message in that passage. But you know? Fundamentalists do that. They twist any passage in the Bible to fit their needs. Even analogies of loving the Church to mean a wife must be totally submissive to her husband.

OK, I'm hijacking your post. It just burns my ass because people do NOT use their brains and intelligence to think for themselves. Sure, believe anything the minister says 'cause he's the minister. He's an asshole just like Warren Jepps or any ISIS asshole that wants five women in the bed waiting for him to fuck. Just because he's a man.

Ugh.

[mimimanderly.livejournal.com]

I think that part of the problem is that we indoctrinate children from the beginning to not think for themselves; to trust the opinions of their parents, teachers, "the experts", their doctor, researchers, their pastor... in short, anyone but their own heart and mind! I breathe a sigh of relief every time I see examples of the lives these "sheeple" live, and am grateful that I was born a Questioner, always wanting to know the reason I should do something... and then disregarding it if I think it's bullshit.

And here am I, hijacking your hijacking of the post.... ;)

[arwitchywoman.livejournal.com]

Honey, hijack away! I've always been a questioner as well.
I've crossed paths with so many very intelligent people in my life who believe the dumbest bullshit because their fundamentalist pastor told them so, and he quoted a bible verse to back up his point.

For instance, I'm Catholic. Yet I've met so many people who asked me, "Why wouldn't you want to be Christian?" and I want to slap them.

But you're right. It's all about control.

[snapebraille4tu.livejournal.com]

*blarg*
At least the food was good.
Still, just having to listen to that shit...*shudders*
Say...don't you have a certain witch blowing into town soon??? ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

[eoforyth.livejournal.com]

Oh. Good. Grief.

I'm not sure I could have sat through that, I'd probably make a show of leaving, with the excuse that I suddenly found myself sick to the stomach.

At jeast it wasn't problems between you and TheHubs™, which was my first worry when I saw the heading here!

[mimimanderly.livejournal.com]

I was worried about that, too! I thought, "Oh, no! Are Teddy and The Hubs on rocky shores?"

I was thinking that I undoubtedly would have had the same reaction to the ceremony, and left quite suddenly, clutching my stomach. Rude, yes, but I would have sent the bride a nice sympathy card by way of apology. Yeah, this is probably why I don't get invited to weddings....

[tamlane.livejournal.com]

Yep, that's Bob Jones for ya.

I would have loved to see your makeup! What kind of look did you do?