Where Does The Time Go?

[teddy_radiator]

I honestly don't know where the last half of this year has gone. Work continues to beat me about the head and shoulders, and I'm perpetually tired. I feel old. More than that, I feel washed up.

I also feel like the most ungrateful person in the world. We are surrounded by friends and family, and we've had loads of visitors this year. That's been the fun part. Catherine has been visiting us from the UK this week; she didn't think she would get the chance, so this has been a real treat. She is leaving to return to the UK tomorrow, and it's going to be tough - days she leaves us are always hard.  Next week, the awesome irishredlass will be spending the better part of the week with us. I think we're going to spend most of it shopping for yarn and cooking, and if you don't think I'm looking forward to that, you don't know me at all ;)

We've been podcasting like crazy; we did three this week alone, and I have no clue as to when I'll have time to edit them down, but the last two we posted are very good - probably our most serious and significant. I felt like we really actually said some important things in them instead of just shooting the breeze. These next three are more light-hearted and hopefully will be entertaining.

I've signed up for hp_halloween again. This will be my sixth year, and I hate to break the cycle. I am hoping I can still write; I haven't written anything of substance in so long I am afraid I can't anymore. I'm supposed to go to a local bookstore and drop off copies of Her Minder 1 in the hopes they will carry the book and allow my friend Wofford and I to host a joint book signing, but I'm really nervous about it. I need to just get off my fat arse and do it, but I'm scared of the rejection. Every rejection kills my waning confidence a little more each time. stgulik has been bravely trekking through the jungle that is HM2, and it's going really well, I think. I am happier with this section of the story. I've had some nice reviews, and since the e-book got properly corrected, no more complaints, but eh, I'm not great at self-promotion, so I need to just get over it and start putting myself forward.

When I have time.

I've felt really run down lately, and it feels a lot like a bad dose of depression. I know my hormones are all over the place, and my general malaise seems to be made up of mostly being blue over losing Mouse, and feeling run off my feet, and things just generally feeling out of sorts. I seem to be disappointing a lot of people lately. The state of our world doesn't exactly fill me with joy, and so many friends have experienced so much bad news lately. I know I am so much better off than so many, but I just feel so down all the time. I watch a lot of telly, and try to be as sociable as I can, but I just feel so down, it's hard to jolly myself up.

I guess the bottom line is that I feel left out of things. I'm not writing fanfiction, I'm not really writing original stuff, I'm not crafting, I'm not colouring, I'm not doing anything creative, and it makes me feel useless. It hasn't helped that everytime Catherine visits we end up eating crap, because that's all she WILL eat, and I have ingested way too much sugar and wheat this week.

Oh, don't mind me. I'm just feeling sorry for myself and out of the loop.

Comments

[gelsey.livejournal.com]

*hugs gently* I was just thinking of you this week. Is there anything I can do for you?

It will come back, you know. We all hit slumps. I haven't written anything of note in years and it's sad. But you have a book! Go you! Didn't I see something about audio? Whoo!

You are loved! I hope you start to perk up soon. I know how awful it is.

[teddyradiator.livejournal.com]

Thank you, sweetie. You always have time to send me such loving encouragement. I appreciate it more than I can say.

[mywitch.livejournal.com]

Oh baby, I hear you. It's hard to roust yourself out of a funk, but you'll get there. Imagine all the fun of yarn and cooking! I'm glad you signed up for the Halloween thing; I do so love your short pieces. Loads of people love you, but I love you the MOST. :)

[teddyradiator.livejournal.com]

Oh, babe, I love YOU the mostest! Thank you. HP_Halloween has always been a favourite of mine. I hope I haven't forgotten how to do it right.

[mywitch.livejournal.com]

I know that you haven't :D
You'll kill it, as per always!

Regardless...

[eclecticbv.livejournal.com]

...of the why I’m sending good thoughts and hugs your way.

RE: Regardless...

[teddyradiator.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much. ♥

[too-dle-oo.livejournal.com]

It hasn't helped that everytime Catherine visits we end up eating crap, because that's all she WILL eat, and I have ingested way too much sugar and wheat this week.

It's PHENOMENAL how much this can throw things off for me. Energy levels, how I feel in my body, all of it! It's not to be underestimated, and... while you are an incredible host, you have permission to take care of your needs, too!

In the meanwhile, I'm delighted to hear that we'll get a new story from you, Teddy! All the best as you recapture your mojo!

[teddyradiator.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much - I really appreciate the encouragement. I hope I can still remember how to drabble!