SED - Day 22 - Happy Anniversary and Ain't We Got Fun?

[teddy_radiator]

TheHubs™ and I are celebrating our 15th wedding anniversary today. It barely seems possible it's been 16 years since we met, and yet at the same time hard to remember a time when we weren't together. I am the owner of two disastrous previous marriages; this is the one that took. My first husband was an ineffectual, irritating alcoholic; he wasn't a bad man, just a pain in the arse to be around. I understand that he's happily married and living in his native Wisconsin now. I hope he has found the happiness he was never going to find with me.

The second was a great lesson in being careful what you ask for, you just may get it. I wanted excitement, I wanted thrilling sex, I wanted spice. I got it all in the form of a dangerous, narcissistic predator. He died about 18 months ago, and the world is a brighter place for it. I am only too happy to speak ill of the dead - he deserved all the rancour I am capable of producing. He left me battered and so broken it's a wonder all the King's horses and all the King's men were able to put me together again. Poor Hubs™ - he inherited so much of my baggage when we got together I'm suprised he didn't have to pay import duties on it. Thankfully, he was patient enough, and, dare I say it, loved me enough to pull me through it all. I used all that PTSD as a crutch for a long time; now I am stronger, and wiser, and a little more protective of myself. I've learned to love myself, and in doing so, I learned to love everyone properly. I still make mistakes, but at least now I know what the warning signs are.

We kept it low-key today; we worked, then came home and made chili with baked potatoes. Chocolate cake was our big indulgence. He's just returned from seeing to Lucy the Dog, and I've just come from the shower where I became a brunette again all the way to the roots. Life is pretty good.

Comments

[delphipsmith]

Chocolate is always an excellent choice, Congratulations on fifteen years, and may you have fifty more :)

[teddyradiator.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much! If I am blessed with that many more years, I will be in excellent company.

[melodyssister]

Congratulations! How strong you are, to gone on to a third marriage after two bad ones. I feel very lucky to have found ADC early on - in October we will have been together for 20 years, with out 18th wedding anniversary in August. (That sounds horribly smug, but I really just want to say how glad I am that you have found happiness. The HubsTM sounds like a wonderful guy.)

[teddyradiator.livejournal.com]

It' not smug, it's wonderful! I'm so happy for you. I made some foolish choices in my life, but TheHubs™ isn't one of them. We've had a great adventure together.

[hbart.livejournal.com]

I am very much a believer in things happening exactly as they are supposed to. Sometimes it's hard to see why you, for example, had to endure two bad marriages, but they either led you to the place where you would meet the right man, or you wouldn't have been the right person for him without your history. I know not everyone thinks that way, but I stand by that. At any rate, I am glad you are happy and well loved, and I hope you have many more years of happiness.

[teddyradiator.livejournal.com]

Sometimes it's hard to see why you, for example, had to endure two bad marriages, but they either led you to the place where you would meet the right man, or you wouldn't have been the right person for him without your history.

Every word of this should be carved in stone and gilded in gold - so very, very true. Thank you for your lovely words.

[stgulik.livejournal.com]

Happy anniversary, dear ones! And here's to many more.

[teddyradiator.livejournal.com]

Thank you, my dearest friend.

[bonsaibetz.livejournal.com]

Congratulations on 15 years with the right guy. As my mom once said, "Some times you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your price." Glad you found yours eventually.

[teddyradiator.livejournal.com]

Well, I think I was a bit of a frog myself. But I know exactly what she means! Thank you so much.

[melusin-79.livejournal.com]

Congratulations - hope there are many more

[teddyradiator.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much! I feel very fortunate.

[birdsofshore]

Congratulations on your anniversary!

[teddyradiator.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[mimimanderly.livejournal.com]

Congratulations! You seem to be married to a guy who is almost perfect! Patient, understanding... AND he can remodel the house!

[teddyradiator.livejournal.com]

I could have done a lot worse!

Seriously, he has become an amazing friend, an understanding mate, who 'gets' me totally. I feel very fortunate I have found someone so loving and lovable.

[nia_kantorka]

Happy anniversary! 15 years is quite impressive, we celebrated our 6th yesterday. :D

[teddyradiator.livejournal.com]

Happy anniversary to you as well! May you enjoye many many years of happiness together.

[nia_kantorka]

Thank you! :D

[http://users.livejournal.com/_hannelore/]

I've learned to love myself, and in doing so, I learned to love everyone properly. This is such an important and wonderful thing to repeat. Happy Anniversary!

[teddyradiator.livejournal.com]

It's a hard thing to type even now. Loving myself was always seen as the worst form of conceit, and it took me many years to understand how important it was to love myself and to be able to acknowledge that love. It's a lesson I'm still trying to learn. I tell you, once I got rid of the religion in my life, I was able to embrace self-love.

[arwitchywoman.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you two had a wonderful, low-key day!

[teddyradiator.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[pauraque]

Congratulations! I'm glad that your path has led you to happiness.

[teddyradiator.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I had to travel down a lot of strange roads, but it' been a fun journey.

[gelsey.livejournal.com]

Happy anniversary!

[teddyradiator.livejournal.com]

Thank you, sweetie!

[shadowycat.livejournal.com]

Happy Anniversary! May you have many more. I certainly can't think of a better way to celebrate than chocolate! :D

[teddyradiator.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much! Yes, chocolate is a great way to do it! ;)

[kellychambliss.livejournal.com]

Happy anniversary, dear! 15 years is a grand accomplishment. My partner and I are coming up on our own 15th in a few weeks; hard to believe so much time has passed.

[teddyradiator.livejournal.com]

Then please accept my best wishes in advance. It seems at once like a great milestone and just another day in all the years together. They have been good solid years though. I don't regret a moment of any of it.

[hikorichan.livejournal.com]

Happy Anniversary! Your Hubs sounds like a wonderful man.

I know how hard it can be to put yourself back together after living with a narcissist. My mother is one, and she fucked me up good for a long too (ain't therapy grand?). My husband also saw me through some of my worst times, when I was literally falling apart from the inside out. There's nothing better than a kind-hearted, supportive, loving partner; I'm so happy you have one of your own! Here's to your next 15 years together :)

[teddyradiator.livejournal.com]

I'm very sorry you had to go through that. I have done some reading on it, and apparently it is one of the most dangerous psychological types to be around. I believe that, for sure. I'm so glad you found a caring, understanding husband - I realise it can't be easy for them to try and help us pull ourselves back together, and I wish you all the best.

[beffeysue.livejournal.com]

You and TheHubs are so blessed to have found each other at exactly the right time for exactly the right reasons. It's a wonderful thing.

Wishing you both many more happy years together.

[teddyradiator.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I feel very blessed and fortunate. He is truly one of a kind. Thank you for your kind words.

[dj-rocca.livejournal.com]

I know I'm still new to your journal and your personal life but I'm glad you have such a good relationship with your husband. I'm sorry you went through the two bad ones in the past.

[teddyradiator.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I feel very fortunate in so many ways. But as Hbart said, sometimes you have to go through the hard times to become the person you are supposed to be. I think I'm the poster child for that! ;)

[hikorichan.livejournal.com]

I would agree it's a dangerous personality type. Talk about toxic! Glad we are both beyond those people now :)