SED - Taking The Good With The Bad

[teddy_radiator]

Well, it seems that karma wanted to kick my butt, because I asked for something to talk about, and boy did I get it!

First of all, thank you all for embracing this challenge with such fervor and excitement. I really appreciate it more than I can say. It has been absolutely thrilling to see the explosion of activity here today. I hope we can sustain it - I realise you are all busy, but hopefully we can keep ourselves engaged and interested.

My first thing I want to say is Blessed Beltane! And to provide a shameless plug for my Beltane fic The Witchhiker's Guide To Beltane, which I wrote for SSHG_Promptfest a couple of years ago. It's one that I had a real blast doing, and I even messed around and included some actual Beltane rituals. If you like your Beltane with a little bit of humour and a lot of smut, please give it a try!

And now for the not-so-happy. As you may know, TheHubs™ spent most of the year working on Spamalot. He also is in a band, and before he even auditioned for Spamalot he asked them if they would be okay for him to be absent in April. They said sure, they just wouldn't book any gigs in April. Well, you guessed it; almost the moment he started Spamalot rehearsals they booked two April gigs. They got someone in to dep for him, but all of them assured him that they didn't mind.

This is starting to write itself, isn't it? Well, last Tuesday, he went back to rehearsals. He said they all seemed a little lackluster but he just thought they were tired - and he was just so buzzed being back with them, he didn't care.

So today, via email, they fired him. After telling him Last Week how much they missed him and couldn't wait for him to be back. Fired him. He was in tears he was so hurt. I was furious and told the lead singer what she did was unforgivable. She got all defensive and told me not to 'point fingers'. I told her I wasn't the one who stabbed him in the back, and I hoped that karma really worked out for her. I was so angry. He is a decent, talented, hard-working and dedicated musician. He so did not deserve this.

To top it all off, he had paid for one year's worth of website time, created and designed their website, and spent $50 of our money for it. They said they would not reimburse him. And to be honest, we were banking on all those summer gigs to help pay for our property taxes, and therefore free up our tax refund for our trip to California to see stgulik next year. So now we have to back up and replan.

I am sorry to make my first SED such a downer; it just goes to show that even in the midst of all this great stuff, sometimes news isn't too great. But one of the reasons I love LJ so much is that I CAN unburden myself to you, and not rant at him. He is upset enough; I just exascerbate things because I get so upset on his behalf. I can tell you and I know you can have a sympathetic ear.

Aside from all the not-so-nice personal stuff, I gotta say it's just thrilling to see all these posts today. Thank you all, thank you so much, for just jumping in and all this lovely support - Y'all are the best!

Comments

[akatnamedeaster.livejournal.com]

So today, via email, they fired him.

Isn't that some straight-up chickenshit crap. Via e-mail. The way people without any balls/ovaries handle bad news.

That sucks and is really skeevy, I mean, tell the guy when he's standing in front of you at least. Did they at least give him a reason or was it all handled with weasel words like "creative differences" or "moving in another direction."

I'm sorry this happened to him and to you. :(

[teddyradiator.livejournal.com]

Basically they said it was because they liked the guy who depped for him better and didn't like Trev having a theatre life. Which is so fucking hypocritical because the lead singer is a theatre person as well. I just can't get over the fact they didn't have the guts to tell him to his face on Tuesday. And when I called her on it she got all defensive and told me to 'stop pointing fingers'. I reminded her that I wasn't the one who told him his 'job was safe' then stabbed him in the back right as he was coming back to get started again.

[tamlane.livejournal.com]

They fired him via EMAIL?!!! I can't help but think he's better off not being involved with them, but I know that doesn't cushion the emotional or financial blow.

There's not anything in the Steampunk Library that needs a good banging on, is there? 'Cause I think I'd wanna grab a hammer and go for it.

My heart goes out to both of you.

[teddyradiator.livejournal.com]

No, unfortunately I've had very little outlet except here. He's dealing with it far better than me.

[bonsaibetz.livejournal.com]

"Don't book anything in April, okay?"
"Okay, yeah, that's fine. No problem." (Books gigs in April).

Fuck her sideways with a rusty chainsaw. I'm waiting for your next post to say she said, "At least I didn't fire him through Facebook..." O_o Would not put it past someone like that.

They say when God shuts a door, he opens a window. Maybe your husband will find a better band, who won't fuck him over, that pays better. Here's hoping that that's what will happen.

Sorry to hear this shit landed in your lap.

[teddyradiator.livejournal.com]

I messaged her on FB and told her what she did was unforgivable, and she got all defensive. I reminded her that she was the one doing the back-stabbing, not the other way around. Poor guy. He was, and is, so hurt over it. He doesn't deserve it.

[ex-logospil.livejournal.com]

That is such absolute deceitful bullshit, what they did to him :-(

I hope with all my heart that a much better opportunity will come along for him soon ♥

[teddyradiator.livejournal.com]

Thank you, sweetie. I need to let go of this anger, and I really appreciate your soothing presence.

[alisanne.livejournal.com]

That is absolute crap. And I hope karma works out for them, too. Fuckers. :(
*hugs you*
I've fingers crossed that something even better will come along.

[teddyradiator.livejournal.com]

Thank you, dear heart. He's a good guy, and I hate seeing him so hurt. But he's an optimist, and he'll be okay. I'm the one that can get bitter and stringy over stuff like this.

[irishredlass.livejournal.com]

I would say that their approach lacked class and courage I know it is hurtful, but Hubs does not need to be associating with people who are beneath him

[teddyradiator.livejournal.com]

I have to agree. These people aren't worthy of him. He's talented and hard-working and so dedicated, and they just pissed on all that.

[teddyradiator.livejournal.com]

Thank you - I feel the exact same! LOL

[mimimanderly.livejournal.com]

What you put out comes back to you. If that's the way they do business, it will bite them on the ass eventually. He is well rid of them, even though it may not seem that way. I hope that he can get to the point where he can be excited for whatever the Universe has in store for him next. As long as he has the desire to perform, and can visualize himself in the perfect situation, one will come his way.

As for the SEDs: you didn't realize how much power you wielded, did you?

[teddyradiator.livejournal.com]

He is so optimistic and hopeful, and determined not to let this get to him. I know he'll have his angry moments, but he doesn't want to sulk over it - that tends to be my job. But I wished her good luck with all that karma she had just racked up.

Yes, I'm still a little stunned about SED! :)

[melodyssister]

That's just awful. But what goes around comes around, and hopefully your husband will be able to put that good energy to another use with people who appreciate him (and not just you :)). In the meantime, though, it's very upsetting to have to change plans because of other people's bad behaviour (not to say cheating out of money).

[teddyradiator.livejournal.com]

Yes, the money is a bitter blow. It derails a couple of important plans for the nonce. But we will go on; TheHubs™ is a decent, good person, and a lot of people care for him, so I know he'll be okay.

[adelaidearcher.livejournal.com]

That's appalling. I hope something better is just round the corner for him. So much for "friends".

[teddyradiator.livejournal.com]

I know! But sometimes bad things happen so good things can germinate. I hope this is the case.

[gelsey.livejournal.com]

I've been thrilled to see mt flist full, and active with comments too. It's so encouraging and I hope it stays, at least in part.

I'm so sorry about what happened to your hubs. That's just awful!

[teddyradiator.livejournal.com]

Me too! I'ts been astonishing to see all this activity!

Thank you, sweetie. I really appreciate everyone's kindness.

[alabastard.livejournal.com]

Ahhh, what a cheap shot. I've had this happen to me, and it's a horrible feeling.

[teddyradiator.livejournal.com]

I'm very sorry that you had that experience. It is so unnecessarily cruel. And you know better than most how it hurts to see the person you love betrayed and stabbed in the back. It's the one thing I can't forgive.

[hikorichan.livejournal.com]

That's so awful! I hope he can find a new band full of people who don't freaking SUCK. As crappy as it is, they don't sound like people you guys want in your life anyway.

[teddyradiator.livejournal.com]

That's the truth - I don't want to have anything in the world to do with these people ever again. I thought they were friends.

[remarkable1.livejournal.com]

Good Lord. Ignore my SED post then, I wrote it BEFORE I read yours, and well, you'll see. HUGS .

[teddyradiator.livejournal.com]

Not at all, sweetie. I'm just tickled you joined in - never apologise.

[arwitchywoman.livejournal.com]

I can only think of two words as I read that. Fuck them.

[teddyradiator.livejournal.com]

Yes, I said a lot of stuff, but they pretty much all boiled down to those two words.

[bloodcult.livejournal.com]

That's horrible and I'm sorry.

[teddyradiator.livejournal.com]

Thank you, dear. I get a little OTT about my friends and loved ones when someone treats them badly. I'm not nearly as protective about myself, but I get ballistic when it's the people I love being treated badly.

[toblass.livejournal.com]

What a huge disappointment for you both! There's nothing like the betrayal of once thought of good friends.

I'm sure there will be another band around the corner who can't wait to work with Trev.

[teddyradiator.livejournal.com]

Now that the initial hurt is over, he seems to be coping well. Talking about doing more theatre. I think he's just had to come to the realisation that he can either do bands or theatre - for him, he can't do both.

[dickgloucester.livejournal.com]

My first thought is that if they're not going to pay him for the web site work, he should just remove his work from the web site.

Horrible thing to do to the Hubs. Really, really horrible.

*hugs you both*

[teddyradiator.livejournal.com]

Thank you, dear heart. He had a good night's sleep and feels a little better today, but last night he immediately pulled the plug on the website and shut it down. He's trying to see if he can get a partial refund, but I think that $50 is gone bye bye.

[melusin-79.livejournal.com]

What a shitty thing to do. Does he have any control over the website? Can he pull the plug on it?

[teddyradiator.livejournal.com]

Thank you, babe. He pulled the plug on the sight and shut it down last night. I'm going to see if it can be repurposed, but I think it's a lost cause and a hard earned lesson.

[lady-of-clunn.livejournal.com]

Bastards.

If he created and paid for the website, does he own it/the domain?

Could he cut the idiots off from the internets?

[teddyradiator.livejournal.com]

He does own the name/domain, so he pulled the plug on it last night.

[pauraque]

Wow, people can be such cowardly assholes. :(

[teddyradiator.livejournal.com]

They certainly can. He is okay this morning, but yesterday he was so hurt.

[stgulik.livejournal.com]

What a chicken thing to do, firing someone by email. Someone should have spoken to him in person first if they had integrity. I was going to suggest he mess with their website in retaliation, but that's worse and has a way of ruining a musician's rep in town. But if I were him, I'd make it my hobby to get them to pay me every cent they owe me. Big hugs to you and The Hubs.

Even better

[stgulik.livejournal.com]

Ah ha, i thought he just worked on the website. Now I see he owned it. Pulling the plug was a good move.

[beffeysue.livejournal.com]

Before I say anything else, I just want you and TheHubs™ to know how utterly despicable I think he has been treated by that group of butt holes. They got no class, only ass.

And now I want to say how impressed I am with the response to your SED challenge. There was something very eloquent about that post, and I knew when I read it that the gates were about to open.

*you iz one powerful witch*

[teddyradiator.livejournal.com]

Thank you, sweetie. He is pretty philosophical about it. Still hurt, but accepting. He's a class act, unlike them.

I will admit I have been shocked at the response to this, but it's wonderful to see all this going on.