The First REAL Post In Weeks

[teddy_radiator]

I thank you heartily for indulging me through reams of memes and nests of tests, a rabble of drabbles and whims and other things I can't rhyme without getting raunchy. It's been a tough two weeks and I'm only at the point I can write about it. Filling in memes and taking tests and writing fun stuff are part of what got me through it with most of my sanity intact. My friends here and at home were the other thing that kept me from losing my hair and my mind.

We made the decision to close our business on April 1, and our last day at the shop was April 9. That week was the most chaotic, busiest of our history, and one woman griped, "I don't understand why you're closing if you're this busy." I snapped back, "Ma'am, if we had been this busy, we wouldn't  be closing." Sheesh. Some people. We didn't shut our dream and our business cause we just felt like it.

We went through all the stages of grief, and now are pretty much lulled neutral. This past week the Hubs and I spent clearing out the place of stuff we wanted to keep, and arranging the stuff we wanted to sale at our final 'Yard Sale' which took place today.  The weather was crap, and kept a lot of people away, but we still did okay. We are going to open up a few hours each day for the next week and try to sell off the rest of the stuff.

Most people didn't haggle - only the restaurant people did - over the most minute shizzle. I finally lost patience with one of them and said, "You know how much this stuff costs, and you know how much we are humiliating ourselves to sell this at such a loss. Just pay the damn price because you know you are getting a good deal." They paid my price. They even managed to look a little sheepish. I mean, we've broken bread with these folks!

Yes, I am sad. But the great Garth Brooks said it best: Our lives are better left to chance, I could have missed the pain, but I'd have had to miss the dance. We had the chance to make our dream come true, and for two and a half years, we did. We started a small restaurant in the middle of the worst recession since the 30's and managed to thrive for a little while. And I made the most amazing friends, one of whom turned me on to fanfic, which got me writing again, which brought me here. So, yes, I'm sad, and I'll cry when I'm alone for awhile, but I wouldn't have missed this dance for the world.

Now we face the dreary machinations of closing the business. Ho hum. at least we have a little money in our pockets to keep the wolves from the door while we look for gainful employment. I believe we will be okay.

Strangely enough, the Muse is very strong and nurturing, as he's always been, and I'm writing alot. Two of my dearest friends in the world, mimimanderly and sempraseverus , illustrated a little vampire fic I wrote last week, and I just received mimimanderly 's original in the post, which is stunning.

I am loved. Every person who's walked in the shop door this week was glad that the Hubs and I weren't moving away. Some cried. Some brought chocolates and flowers. Most of them hugged me and told me they were sad the Vic was closing. Almost every scrap of tea, teapot and Vic souvenir is gone, snatched up by people who will miss us. I was ambitious. I wanted to create a legacy with this little shop. I created a great memory for a lot of people. And people still are asking for our recipe for chicken salad.

I'm going to be even more of an infant that usual for a few weeks, and I apologise, but I'll be here, doing my best Hermione Granger 'Like-me-please-like-me' imitation, so forgive me in advance. Thank you for being here.

Comments

[mimimanderly.livejournal.com]

*Nods* Most of the restaurants where I've worked have closed without even telling the employees; we just showed up one day and the doors were shut. But when people DO know that it is closing, the place just gets swamped with people. They're all about "missing the place"... but where the hell were all of them when business was down?

I love your response to the hagglers! I used to haggle at garage sales, but never felt comfortable doing so. So now I don't. I figure that if I LOVE something, I will gladly pay what they're asking. And if I DON'T love it... why the hell should I buy it?

You WILL be fine. Sad for a while, yes, of course. But the Vic happened to you for a reason. I can only assume that it closed for a reason, as well. Whatever happens, rest assured that it's all part of your path.

[teddyradiator.livejournal.com]

We are fine, babe. We brought tons of stuff home, and trying to find a place for it is a little daunting, but we wanted to keep some things and so the garage is looking a little jammed packed now - I think that might be one of my projects while the Hubs is off doing play rehearsals.

[m-mcgonagall-65.livejournal.com]

You have been going through an emotionally crippling couple of weeks. Don't worry--we'll be here to listen. *hugs*

[teddyradiator.livejournal.com]

I feel so many good vibes here - they do help. A lot. Thank you!

[clairvoyant.livejournal.com]

You've gone out graciously and with a bang. Leave them wanting more, Teddy. And good luck on the next leg of your journey in life.

*hugs*

[teddyradiator.livejournal.com]

They say a lady always knows when to leave a party, and we knew we wanted to leave while we still could give people good food. On the last day, we actually ran completely out of almost everything. It was good to know that people still loved our food right up to the end.

Thank you for your kind words - they mean so much to us.

[justpinkpastel.livejournal.com]

Did you smack that lady and the hagglers across the face? I totally would have. It's hard enough trying to shut down your dream without people rubbing it in your face by asking stupid questions or being cheapskates. You should have hit them.... It might have made you feel the tiniest bit better.

I am so proud that you were able to keep your dream alive for as long as you did. I am also proud that you actually had the balls to follow your dream, unlike so many people out there. *cough*me*cough* I can't wait to see where life takes you next because I know that with Dahlra and your husband with you, it will be amazing.

[teddyradiator.livejournal.com]

LOL, I sort of wanted to. The lady and her husband in question own a large amount of property in town and have just opened a really nice hotel, and were obviously kitting it out. I don't understand how he's gotten so rich - he has absolutely no personality or charisma whatsoever. I mean, totally charmfree! At least we could say we ran the shop with flair and personality!

We'll be okay. I'm not looking forward to job hunting, but hey, that's the way it goes - as long as we can find something doable, we have enough hobbies and interests outside the job that keep us happy.

[mimimanderly.livejournal.com]

Don't give any attention to the "loss" side of the equation; concentrate instead on the fact that you were able to fulfill a dream of yours for so long in such trying times, when others won't even try. We get what we focus upon. Concentrate on gratitude for what you have, and you will get more of it. If you focus on your losses, the same is true.

[teddyradiator.livejournal.com]

LOL, well, we definitely came out with more than we put in - my stuffed garage proves it!

Seriously, I can't think of this in any way but positive. We owe so much to the Vic - it enabled me to start writing again, it got us back into the theatre again, it opened doors that we wouldn't even have known were there. It was a blessing in every way. It just doesn't feel like a negative, even having to close. All through my life Dahlra has shown me the path, and said, "Here it is, off you go." If I followed it, great joy followed. If I was stubborn and didn't, or saw another shiny path and started running in spite of his warnings, I paid the price.

This path seems clear and perfect, and I can feel him leading me down it; he knows what's there, even if I don't, so I'm confident it's the right path to end now and to move on.

[sandlappershell.livejournal.com]

To everything there is a season...and now it is Spring a chance for new things and rebirth. You never know what bigger and better or even just more satisfying might be ahead. Be sad, but be glad too of all the things you will take away from living a moment of a dream!

'You've got to give a little, take a little
And let your poor heart break a little'

[teddyradiator.livejournal.com]

Truer words have ne'er been spoken! We are fine, in fact, better than fine. We feel like a great burden has been lifted, and we're ready to see what happens next.

The Vic was wonderful, but there is something ahead equally wonderful. We just have to trust our instincts and plow ahead.

[melusin-79.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry you had to give up your dream and I do hope that as this door closes another will open very soon.

[teddyradiator.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much, melusin. We are okay - and actually feel a lot freer right now. I think things will be just fine. We feel loved and supported, and that makes a huge difference.

[tonksinger.livejournal.com]

*hugs* People can be really insensitive sometimes, especially when they think they can save money. You rock for telling them exactly how rude they were being.

[andyissadangel.livejournal.com]

You know what people say: when one door loses, another one opens. I think that closing Victoria had a reason, and I believe that there is something great waiting for you. Who knows, maybe you will publish Her minder and be awesome rich writer (god, I hope so!). When that happens, may I have a signed copy of your book? =)

And don't worry about memes and tests and drabbles. I actually like reading them!
- BlueRavenAngel

[bonsaibetz.livejournal.com]

**BIG BEAR HUG**

[dickgloucester.livejournal.com]

*hugs* And thus a new part of life begins.

[talesofsnape.livejournal.com]

Hugs you like crazy, my dear! And, yes, yes, yes, you are not only liked; you are loved.

[juniperus.livejournal.com]

(Hey, lady -- Odogoddess has rec'd you!! http://odogoddess.livejournal.com/340115.html)

[teddyradiator.livejournal.com]

Thanks for letting me know - she said some unusual things about both my fics, though ?!?

She said Spellbreaker featured an Aussiefied Snape - WTF?

And she also said that The Sensual World had SS/HP - again, wha? HMM

[juniperus.livejournal.com]

Perhaps she was reading potential and undercurrent in there... she writes/reads both het and slash, so... (in other words: I dunno!) <3

[teddyradiator.livejournal.com]

LOL No probs, I wrote and thanked her, and mentioned those things, so I hope she doesn't think I'm being ungrateful, but most folks know I don't do slash and I wouldn't want to lead them astray... ;)