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teddy_radiatorThanks to everyone who read and offered encouragement. If you're happy and you know, let me know!
Snow Turns The World Deaf
Chapter Two
Rated: PG-13
This chapter is dedicated to my mother, who nursed my father throughout his long, painful illness; and to my good friend, Irishredlass, whose brother lost his fight with cancer this past week.
Please note this story is not political; it is not a study on Privatised vs. Socialised medicine.
It is about all those caregivers who lovingly take care of their loved ones with unselfish, unconditional love, and sometimes have to make the hardest decisions on earth. This story is dedicated to them.
It is also written for stgulik, the best.
All my respect and love, Teddy.
Looking at his former schoolmate and colleague, Severus thought he actually looked a little better than the last time they had seen one another. Of course, Lupin had always looked like a man far older than his years, but admittedly, so did he.
He had always been pleasant, even friendly toward Severus in school. Of all the Mauraders, Remus had always been the one Severus could have befriended, had Sirius Black and James Potter not been in the picture.
Looking back, Severus realised Lupin had tried so hard to create a more stable friendship with Severus the year he taught at Hogwarts, but Severus’ bitterness and frustrations, as always, created a barrier none could cross. It never occurred to him that the man simply needed a friend.
“Lupin,” Severus answered, evenly, too tired and heartsick to summon any real reaction. “What are you doing here?”
Lupin had smiled tiredly. “Wolfsbane. It’s offered on the Wizarding Health Service now, so each month before the full moon I have to report to St Mungo’s and receive my potion.” He said it with the air of someone who has been told once too often how grateful they should be for the charity offered them. Severus could appreciate the resigned tone of his voice.
He and Hermione had heard through Potter that Lupin’s marriage to Nymphadora had foundered in the years after the war, and she and their son now lived with her mother on the Channel Islands. Lupin was now working for the Ministry in their Magical Beings Liaison office, and was by all accounts well-respected in his field. Some even hinted that he was a likely candidate as Ambassador to the European Commission for the Advancement of Werewolves and Vampires.
“Their potion isn’t a patch on yours, though,” Lupin continued, his soft eyes respectful. “I don’t know who brews for the WHS, but it doesn’t have the strength and potency of the potion you used to brew for me.”
Severus gave a slight bow at the compliment. “Perhaps I can have a word with them. I know the head of the department; they call on me from time to time for a bit of consultancy work.”
Lupin nodded. “Ah. I was wondering why you were here.”
Severus looked past Lupin. “My—my wife is here.”
The vague self-pity was instantly wiped from Lupin’s face and replaced with concern. “Hermione? Is anything the matter?”
Severus looked away, struggling against his emotions. Lupin had always held Hermione in high regard, and she had always equally admired Remus. Haltingly, he said, “She’s ill... cancer... treatments...”
Five minutes later, he and Lupin were in a small waiting room, drinking the foulest coffee he’d ever ingested, as he haltingly spoke of her bravery through the worst of the illness. Remus was a good listener, nodding encouragingly, as Severus confessed aloud his greatest fear—that Lucius’ money would not be enough to see Hermione through the treatments she needed.
Lupin’s care-worn face had been taut with concern and compassion. At one point, he placed his hand on Severus’ shoulder, and such was his distress that he didn’t even hex the wolf for his liberty.
“Severus, I can’t tell you how sorry I am,” Lupin said kindly. Reassuringly, he added, “But I know Hermione. She’s a very strong witch. She’ll beat this. She has a lot to live for.”
The compassion in his voice tore loose Severus’ fear, and for the first time since they’d been told about the cancer, he felt panic overwhelm him. “I cannot lose her, Lupin,” Severus choked out, his heart contracting. “She’s the only part of my life that has worth. I don’t care about myself, but I can’t...” He swallowed and looked away. “I can’t disappoint her. I have to find the means to keep the treatment going.”
Lupin had sat quietly beside Severus as his fear and frustrations spent themselves. When Severus was able to pull himself together, Lupin said, “Severus, I know we haven’t always seen eye to eye about many things, but please believe me when I say that if there is anything I can do to help you or Hermione, please call on me.” He looked down at his shabby robes with a grimace. “I’m sorry I don’t have the funds to give you myself.”
Severus, feeling drained and foolish after his outburst, waved the man’s comments away with an impatient hand. “Few people do.” For Hermione’s sake, he added, “But I appreciate the sentiment.”
Lupin had looked at him strangely for a moment. “Actually Severus, I know the perfect solution for your problem.”
“Explain.”
Lupin told him, and Severus shook his head. “That would be my last resort.”
“Don’t be daft, man! He would give you the money in a heartbeat.”
“I would think it obvious why I do not wish to be beholden to another bloody Potter. There has to be another way.”
But none presented itself, so on the day the money ran out, Severus dressed in his best robes, and arrived five minutes early for his appointment with Harry Potter.
“Why the hell didn’t you call on me in the first place, Snape?” said Potter angrily. “Did I really have to hear about it from Remus before you deigned to let me know one of my best friends was gravely ill?”
Gritting his teeth, Severus answered, “She requested that no one know. She did not wish to alarm her friends.”
Potter shook his head and motioned Severus indoors. “What rubbish! That’s what friends are for! Honestly, Snape, Malfoy?”
Feeling defensive, Severus pulled his cloak tighter around his best robes. “He owed me—”
“You don’t always have to do everything on your own, Snape! When are you going to get it through your thick skull that when I say ‘friends,’ I’m including you?” He turned and looked at Severus with a mixture of pity and worry. “After we go to Gringotts, I’m coming to the hospital with you.”
“That’s hardly necessary—”
“That’s where your wrong, Professor. No offence, but you look as bad as you did when we were at school. Hermione would have my dangly bits for her door knocker if she knew you were wearing yourself into the ground and I did nothing about it.”
Severus tried to protest, but the boy stayed true to form and argued him down. “That’s what friends do, Professor,” he explained, pushing his glasses up his shiny nose. “Hermione’s always been there for me; I’m returning the favour.”
Moments later, Potter had Apparated them to Gringotts and handed Severus his key. Severus had taken one look into the vault and felt weak with relief. The boy had more money than Salazar Slytherin. “Take what you need,” Boy Potter had said, looking at Severus with his mother’s earnest green eyes. “It’s about time it did something useful rather than sitting there gathering dust.”
Even looking at more money than he’d ever seen in one place, Severus faced the boy and forced himself to say, “The treatment is quite expensive. Perhaps you should set up a line of credit—”
“Professor,” Potter had interrupted, his face tense, “Stop being so bloody-minded. When I said ‘take what you need’, I meant it.” He pointed to the key in Severus’ hand. “That’s yours to come and go with as you need. I just want Hermione to get well. I truly don’t care if you empty the bloody vault. Gods, man, that’s what it’s there for!”
It had not taken all of the boy’s gold to heal Hermione, but it had taken a lot of it. The silly fool had actually grown angry with Severus when he tried to breach the subject of repaying him. A Prince paid his debts, his mother had always said, but the imbecile Potter wouldn’t let him.
“I don’t want to owe anyone—”
“Professor. Severus.” Harry looked up at him exasperatedly. “After all you’ve done, do you honestly think you owe me anything?” The look Potter gave him was nothing short of hero worship. “I wouldn’t be alive now but not for you, or Hermione, for that matter. I owe you both everything.”
He glanced over to his wife Ginevra, playing with their toddlers. Severus saw the deep, almost feverish joy in the younger man’s face. “Because of you both, I have everything,” Potter added quietly, his voice low with emotion. He turned back to Severus, all business. “So, you and Hermione concentrate on getting that hundred-percent bill of health. That’s my payback.”
Stubbornly, Severus tried one final time. “Perhaps we could set up some sort of trust for your children—”
“You want to repay me, Snape?” Potter had asked challengingly. At Severus’ terse nod, the young man narrowed his eyes and looked at him carefully. “Then make Hermione happy. Promise her the moon and deliver on it. Do whatever it takes to show her every day that she’s the only thing that matters to you, and that nothing will stand in your way in bringing her joy. That will be my payment.” Potter suddenly grinned. “That, and letting me call you Severus from now on. In public.”
“Don’t push it, boy,” Severus had growled, but Harry just laughed.
-o0o-
In the dark, with Hermione curled against him, trusting and loving even in sleep, Severus thought about Potter’s words. Promise her the moon, and deliver on it.
Every day, he had tried to show her how much he loved her. Each moment, Severus looked for new ways to bring his wife pleasure. In all ways, they were compatible, comfortable and happy.
But Severus had come close to losing his happiness again, and vowed he would do anything to lasso that moon and bring it down to Hermione, to deliver it like a jewel, to see her face alight with satisfaction. He knew he had achieved his goal in many things. Their business was thriving again. They had just purchased a larger house. Healer Blyte had even agreed that next year, barring no unforeseen circumstances, they could start that family they wanted.
What was there left to do?
As if stirred by his thoughts, Hermione made a soft sound and stroked his belly. Severus smiled tiredly; his wife was a delicious, randy little minx, and that was certainly one aspect of their lives he never tired of indulging. They had made love earlier that evening; it had been a sweet, tender, love-affirming time, as always.
They were a passionate, inventive couple, and sex had always been a playground for them. Lately, it had taken on even more significance. It was one way he could physically show her that he still found her desirable, that the ravages of her illness and the treatments had not diminished his adoration for her graceful body and her bright, sharp mind.
Severus sighed. What could he do to deliver that moon?
Snow Turns The World Deaf
Chapter Two
Rated: PG-13
This chapter is dedicated to my mother, who nursed my father throughout his long, painful illness; and to my good friend, Irishredlass, whose brother lost his fight with cancer this past week.
Please note this story is not political; it is not a study on Privatised vs. Socialised medicine.
It is about all those caregivers who lovingly take care of their loved ones with unselfish, unconditional love, and sometimes have to make the hardest decisions on earth. This story is dedicated to them.
It is also written for stgulik, the best.
All my respect and love, Teddy.
Looking at his former schoolmate and colleague, Severus thought he actually looked a little better than the last time they had seen one another. Of course, Lupin had always looked like a man far older than his years, but admittedly, so did he.
He had always been pleasant, even friendly toward Severus in school. Of all the Mauraders, Remus had always been the one Severus could have befriended, had Sirius Black and James Potter not been in the picture.
Looking back, Severus realised Lupin had tried so hard to create a more stable friendship with Severus the year he taught at Hogwarts, but Severus’ bitterness and frustrations, as always, created a barrier none could cross. It never occurred to him that the man simply needed a friend.
“Lupin,” Severus answered, evenly, too tired and heartsick to summon any real reaction. “What are you doing here?”
Lupin had smiled tiredly. “Wolfsbane. It’s offered on the Wizarding Health Service now, so each month before the full moon I have to report to St Mungo’s and receive my potion.” He said it with the air of someone who has been told once too often how grateful they should be for the charity offered them. Severus could appreciate the resigned tone of his voice.
He and Hermione had heard through Potter that Lupin’s marriage to Nymphadora had foundered in the years after the war, and she and their son now lived with her mother on the Channel Islands. Lupin was now working for the Ministry in their Magical Beings Liaison office, and was by all accounts well-respected in his field. Some even hinted that he was a likely candidate as Ambassador to the European Commission for the Advancement of Werewolves and Vampires.
“Their potion isn’t a patch on yours, though,” Lupin continued, his soft eyes respectful. “I don’t know who brews for the WHS, but it doesn’t have the strength and potency of the potion you used to brew for me.”
Severus gave a slight bow at the compliment. “Perhaps I can have a word with them. I know the head of the department; they call on me from time to time for a bit of consultancy work.”
Lupin nodded. “Ah. I was wondering why you were here.”
Severus looked past Lupin. “My—my wife is here.”
The vague self-pity was instantly wiped from Lupin’s face and replaced with concern. “Hermione? Is anything the matter?”
Severus looked away, struggling against his emotions. Lupin had always held Hermione in high regard, and she had always equally admired Remus. Haltingly, he said, “She’s ill... cancer... treatments...”
Five minutes later, he and Lupin were in a small waiting room, drinking the foulest coffee he’d ever ingested, as he haltingly spoke of her bravery through the worst of the illness. Remus was a good listener, nodding encouragingly, as Severus confessed aloud his greatest fear—that Lucius’ money would not be enough to see Hermione through the treatments she needed.
Lupin’s care-worn face had been taut with concern and compassion. At one point, he placed his hand on Severus’ shoulder, and such was his distress that he didn’t even hex the wolf for his liberty.
“Severus, I can’t tell you how sorry I am,” Lupin said kindly. Reassuringly, he added, “But I know Hermione. She’s a very strong witch. She’ll beat this. She has a lot to live for.”
The compassion in his voice tore loose Severus’ fear, and for the first time since they’d been told about the cancer, he felt panic overwhelm him. “I cannot lose her, Lupin,” Severus choked out, his heart contracting. “She’s the only part of my life that has worth. I don’t care about myself, but I can’t...” He swallowed and looked away. “I can’t disappoint her. I have to find the means to keep the treatment going.”
Lupin had sat quietly beside Severus as his fear and frustrations spent themselves. When Severus was able to pull himself together, Lupin said, “Severus, I know we haven’t always seen eye to eye about many things, but please believe me when I say that if there is anything I can do to help you or Hermione, please call on me.” He looked down at his shabby robes with a grimace. “I’m sorry I don’t have the funds to give you myself.”
Severus, feeling drained and foolish after his outburst, waved the man’s comments away with an impatient hand. “Few people do.” For Hermione’s sake, he added, “But I appreciate the sentiment.”
Lupin had looked at him strangely for a moment. “Actually Severus, I know the perfect solution for your problem.”
“Explain.”
Lupin told him, and Severus shook his head. “That would be my last resort.”
“Don’t be daft, man! He would give you the money in a heartbeat.”
“I would think it obvious why I do not wish to be beholden to another bloody Potter. There has to be another way.”
But none presented itself, so on the day the money ran out, Severus dressed in his best robes, and arrived five minutes early for his appointment with Harry Potter.
“Why the hell didn’t you call on me in the first place, Snape?” said Potter angrily. “Did I really have to hear about it from Remus before you deigned to let me know one of my best friends was gravely ill?”
Gritting his teeth, Severus answered, “She requested that no one know. She did not wish to alarm her friends.”
Potter shook his head and motioned Severus indoors. “What rubbish! That’s what friends are for! Honestly, Snape, Malfoy?”
Feeling defensive, Severus pulled his cloak tighter around his best robes. “He owed me—”
“You don’t always have to do everything on your own, Snape! When are you going to get it through your thick skull that when I say ‘friends,’ I’m including you?” He turned and looked at Severus with a mixture of pity and worry. “After we go to Gringotts, I’m coming to the hospital with you.”
“That’s hardly necessary—”
“That’s where your wrong, Professor. No offence, but you look as bad as you did when we were at school. Hermione would have my dangly bits for her door knocker if she knew you were wearing yourself into the ground and I did nothing about it.”
Severus tried to protest, but the boy stayed true to form and argued him down. “That’s what friends do, Professor,” he explained, pushing his glasses up his shiny nose. “Hermione’s always been there for me; I’m returning the favour.”
Moments later, Potter had Apparated them to Gringotts and handed Severus his key. Severus had taken one look into the vault and felt weak with relief. The boy had more money than Salazar Slytherin. “Take what you need,” Boy Potter had said, looking at Severus with his mother’s earnest green eyes. “It’s about time it did something useful rather than sitting there gathering dust.”
Even looking at more money than he’d ever seen in one place, Severus faced the boy and forced himself to say, “The treatment is quite expensive. Perhaps you should set up a line of credit—”
“Professor,” Potter had interrupted, his face tense, “Stop being so bloody-minded. When I said ‘take what you need’, I meant it.” He pointed to the key in Severus’ hand. “That’s yours to come and go with as you need. I just want Hermione to get well. I truly don’t care if you empty the bloody vault. Gods, man, that’s what it’s there for!”
It had not taken all of the boy’s gold to heal Hermione, but it had taken a lot of it. The silly fool had actually grown angry with Severus when he tried to breach the subject of repaying him. A Prince paid his debts, his mother had always said, but the imbecile Potter wouldn’t let him.
“I don’t want to owe anyone—”
“Professor. Severus.” Harry looked up at him exasperatedly. “After all you’ve done, do you honestly think you owe me anything?” The look Potter gave him was nothing short of hero worship. “I wouldn’t be alive now but not for you, or Hermione, for that matter. I owe you both everything.”
He glanced over to his wife Ginevra, playing with their toddlers. Severus saw the deep, almost feverish joy in the younger man’s face. “Because of you both, I have everything,” Potter added quietly, his voice low with emotion. He turned back to Severus, all business. “So, you and Hermione concentrate on getting that hundred-percent bill of health. That’s my payback.”
Stubbornly, Severus tried one final time. “Perhaps we could set up some sort of trust for your children—”
“You want to repay me, Snape?” Potter had asked challengingly. At Severus’ terse nod, the young man narrowed his eyes and looked at him carefully. “Then make Hermione happy. Promise her the moon and deliver on it. Do whatever it takes to show her every day that she’s the only thing that matters to you, and that nothing will stand in your way in bringing her joy. That will be my payment.” Potter suddenly grinned. “That, and letting me call you Severus from now on. In public.”
“Don’t push it, boy,” Severus had growled, but Harry just laughed.
-o0o-
In the dark, with Hermione curled against him, trusting and loving even in sleep, Severus thought about Potter’s words. Promise her the moon, and deliver on it.
Every day, he had tried to show her how much he loved her. Each moment, Severus looked for new ways to bring his wife pleasure. In all ways, they were compatible, comfortable and happy.
But Severus had come close to losing his happiness again, and vowed he would do anything to lasso that moon and bring it down to Hermione, to deliver it like a jewel, to see her face alight with satisfaction. He knew he had achieved his goal in many things. Their business was thriving again. They had just purchased a larger house. Healer Blyte had even agreed that next year, barring no unforeseen circumstances, they could start that family they wanted.
What was there left to do?
As if stirred by his thoughts, Hermione made a soft sound and stroked his belly. Severus smiled tiredly; his wife was a delicious, randy little minx, and that was certainly one aspect of their lives he never tired of indulging. They had made love earlier that evening; it had been a sweet, tender, love-affirming time, as always.
They were a passionate, inventive couple, and sex had always been a playground for them. Lately, it had taken on even more significance. It was one way he could physically show her that he still found her desirable, that the ravages of her illness and the treatments had not diminished his adoration for her graceful body and her bright, sharp mind.
Severus sighed. What could he do to deliver that moon?
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Date: 2013-06-11 12:48 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-06-11 12:49 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-06-11 07:52 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-06-11 10:53 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-06-11 10:51 am (UTC)Now what will she ask of him? I'm guessing it's not the moon....
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Date: 2013-06-11 10:55 am (UTC)Thank you for your sweet words. I've been thrilled by the reaction to this story. I hope you will continue to enjoy it.
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Date: 2013-06-11 11:16 pm (UTC)You're going to make us cry (I mean the hard-hearted among us who are not already crying).
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Date: 2013-06-11 11:18 pm (UTC)I hope to make you smile more than cry ;)
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Date: 2013-06-15 07:47 pm (UTC)“You don’t always have to do everything on your own, Snape! When are you going to get it through your thick skull that when I say ‘friends,’ I’m including you?”
Sometimes, and for some people, accepting help is the hardest thing of all.
That will be my payment.” Potter suddenly grinned. “That, and letting me call you Severus from now on. In public.”
“Don’t push it, boy,” Severus had growled, but Harry just laughed.
Love this :)
no subject
Date: 2013-06-16 11:25 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-06-23 02:22 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-07-24 01:12 am (UTC)