Juggling The Irons In The Fire
Mar. 26th, 2013 10:13 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
teddy_radiatorI don't really have one blessed thing to complain about, but I'm in a very strange mood. I feel tired from work but it wasn't a ball-breaker like other days. I feel a little down, and discouraged, and I think I know why. I think it all boils down to just the sheer amount of time I've been writing in a vacuum with my head down, toiling over the novel. Chapter 17 is now in the vault and that makes me happy - I am damn proud of the placement of each and every word in those first 17 chapters.
But I do miss creating from scratch. I got the prompt I asked for at![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
sshg_promptfest and I'm already about 500 words in. I'm working on part 3 of the slave and it's already 1500 words in. That's my output for today. 2000 words so far. I don't think that's too bad, I guess.
So really, I don't have anything to complain about in that department, either. Con costume is on hold until Thursday, when hopefully my sewing machine feet will arrive. You know you don't sew very often when it takes you four years of using it to realise your hand-me-down machine has nothing resembling a zigzag foot, and you need to do stuff. I'm off work tomorrow, and hope to get something like a bustle started. I'm looking at a lovely gown to wear to Con, and I'm making gifts for my roomies, and my talk is percolating. That's what April is for.
So really, what do I have to complain about? That old feeling again; the one that ambushes me at times. The one that says I'm not good enough, that I don't have what it takes to do what I want to do. Those old Insecurity Blues, telling me that I shouldn't bother.
I've got pretty good at fighting them off; I'm much better now than I was as little as two years ago. I can and will climb on top of them, but man, they are tenacious and insidious and know all my vulnerable, soft spots. And they hit even when I'm studying something I've done and I'm proud of it and that's when they are their most persuasive. That's when I have to starve them; if I feed them, then they will devour me.
But you, my friends, help. Thank you. Thank you for helping more than you know. Your words, your care, your humour, your faith; all these things remind me I do have the strength to starve the Insecurity Blues, until they weakly crawl back into their hiding places.
I will post pics of the costume next week. It should be pretty much done by then. Until then, happy writing, all my fellow SSHG prompters, and I wish joy and comfort to all my friends and hugs to all who need them.
But I do miss creating from scratch. I got the prompt I asked for at
sshg_promptfest and I'm already about 500 words in. I'm working on part 3 of the slave and it's already 1500 words in. That's my output for today. 2000 words so far. I don't think that's too bad, I guess.So really, I don't have anything to complain about in that department, either. Con costume is on hold until Thursday, when hopefully my sewing machine feet will arrive. You know you don't sew very often when it takes you four years of using it to realise your hand-me-down machine has nothing resembling a zigzag foot, and you need to do stuff. I'm off work tomorrow, and hope to get something like a bustle started. I'm looking at a lovely gown to wear to Con, and I'm making gifts for my roomies, and my talk is percolating. That's what April is for.
So really, what do I have to complain about? That old feeling again; the one that ambushes me at times. The one that says I'm not good enough, that I don't have what it takes to do what I want to do. Those old Insecurity Blues, telling me that I shouldn't bother.
I've got pretty good at fighting them off; I'm much better now than I was as little as two years ago. I can and will climb on top of them, but man, they are tenacious and insidious and know all my vulnerable, soft spots. And they hit even when I'm studying something I've done and I'm proud of it and that's when they are their most persuasive. That's when I have to starve them; if I feed them, then they will devour me.
But you, my friends, help. Thank you. Thank you for helping more than you know. Your words, your care, your humour, your faith; all these things remind me I do have the strength to starve the Insecurity Blues, until they weakly crawl back into their hiding places.
I will post pics of the costume next week. It should be pretty much done by then. Until then, happy writing, all my fellow SSHG prompters, and I wish joy and comfort to all my friends and hugs to all who need them.
