Catching Up On Gratitude

[teddy_radiator]

I'm so grateful in general. I am sitting in a room in a house I own, surrounded by art sent from friends all over the world. I'm grateful to my talented friends here. You thrill, excite and inspire me daily.

I'm thankful to miamadwyn and karelia and the others for putting together the smokingbaby project. That as to be one of the most rewarding projects I've taken part in for a long time. I'm honoured to be involved in it.

I'm grateful to the Hubs for being so supportive in what I do. He listens to my plot conundrums, offers advice and possible solutions, reads my work and acts as an alpha. Subvers just wrote about how many husbands and family members don't really get what we do, and I am thrilled that mine does. He even read one of my fics for the smokingbaby project, and it is turning into one of the most popular I submitted, and I'm proud of his abilities. I know that if he finds a job that will allow me to stay at home and write full time, he would do it without a qualm, as long as I'm happy. At least, I think he would!

I'm grateful that we have this amazing exchange coming up and that soon (and I'm trying sooooo hard to be patient) we will be showered with lovely fics. I'm going to roll around in them, dive and bathe in them, and drink my fill (when I'm excited, no metaphor is safe with me).

I'm grateful for a loving mom who has decided to take us out to lunch to our favourite restaurant on Tuesday - their homemade lasagne is to DIE for.

I'm grateful to many of you, for bringing me here in the first place. I'm grateful for my phone call with sempraseverus the other day, who made me laugh and inspired me. I'm grateful to mimimanderly for being the supreme being and force of nature she is. For justpinkpastel and sandlappershell and beffeysue  and madeleone and majorjune for always encouraging me in every aspect of writing and daily life. I'm grateful for droxy and irishredlass69 for encouraging me to explore the dark side and howlingmojo and aebtissin for making me think outside my Severus comfort zone. stgulik  is so precious, for her sterling beta work, because she makes me think about how to be a better writer. I'm sure she'll correct that previous sentence - something was wrong with it.

I apologise if I've left anyone out, and I know I have, but it's not because you are any less dear to me, but that I'm just a forgetful person.

Comments

[mimimanderly.livejournal.com]

Aw! I love you, too, Teddy! *smooch*

[teddyradiator.livejournal.com]

Muchas smooches back atcha! I was at a very low point last night - having a full blown, epic, pity party and I almost wrote you to invite you but I came to my senses and didn't. It happens every once in awhile, but then I remember the positives FAR out weigh the negatives.

[howlingmojo.livejournal.com]

I love you three. What's this I hear about a pity party? Can I come and bring alcohol and filthy drawings to cheer you up? We can co-write/draw to our little hearts content!

[irishredlass.livejournal.com]

Hee you write beautiful angst and I am more than happy to encourage that! {{hugs}}

[teddyradiator.livejournal.com]

My door is always open to you, precious.

Oh, every once in awhile (I usually blame hormones) I get this overwhelming feeling that I'm never going to be good enough to write for a living, that I'm fat and ugly and useless and I can't find Dahlra and I just feel hopeless. I kiddingly say that you can probably set your calendar by the entries that reflect this.

There are times when I feel completely worthless, and I was having one of those moments last night, and I started writing Mimi this pathetic little email about how useless I was, then I cancelled it. I don't need to bombard my friends with stuff like that, especially when it's so self-pity driven, so I erased it.

I am sure that you and alcohol and your lovely, delicious drawings would more than compensate for my insecurity and make me feel ever so much better. Your art always does!

[teddyradiator.livejournal.com]

I'm a little on a downer right now, so I probably will write loads of angst-filled stuff in the next few days...

[majorjune.livejournal.com]

I was at a very low point last night - having a full blown, epic, pity party

Mine's been going on for a couple of weeks now, come join it anytime! :-)

[mimimanderly.livejournal.com]

Yes, we all have pity parties on occasion, I suppose. They are normally surprise parties, and of the worst kind. I had one last week myself. Even though i know it's always best to try to keep the guests to a minimum at these events, if you do find that you just can't shake it, you can always call or e-mail me. I may not be there physically for you, but I have it on good authority that physical existence is highly overrated.

[mimimanderly.livejournal.com]

Oh, I don't know about Teddy, but there was plenty of alcohol at MY pity party... which undoubtedly was part of the problem. The guests NEVER want to leave when there's alcohol!

[mimimanderly.livejournal.com]

The wheel WILL turn up again, Sweetie. It always does.

[teddyradiator.livejournal.com]

Me, too. I could actually feel him trying to get through, bless him. When it was over, he sort of sat beside me and said, rather reproachfully, "Now, that was bad, wasn't it? Let's not do that again, okay?"

I didn't have a phone or I probably would have called. At that moment, I knew yours was the one voice I could hear that would help.

[teddyradiator.livejournal.com]

You know, the phone and emails go both ways - if you need me I'm here, babe... the four of us will hash it out.

[teddyradiator.livejournal.com]

I know. I'm a little discouraged about the job situation right now, but I know that something good will happen soon. I have it on strict authority...

[teddyradiator.livejournal.com]

I always hate to whine, but sometimes it can't be helped. When the Hubs is here, I try to keep it to a minimum, but I was alone in the house and worked myself up into a right state.

[mimimanderly.livejournal.com]

And we ALL know that you like your authority very, very strict.... ;)

[teddyradiator.livejournal.com]

Well, what can I say? I have a very *ahem* demanding Muse...


Coming, Master... ;)

[justpinkpastel.livejournal.com]

You are extremely lucky to have a husband that gets what you do. Mine thinks I am incredibly weird for reading fanfic, having an obsession with Severus, and calling you guys my friends although I have never met you. I think he is weird for not doing these things...

I love you, too, darling! I am more than happy to encourage and praise your writing, seeing as it is a benefit to me, also!

[beffeysue.livejournal.com]

I love you, too, sweetheart. I've been angsting myself lately ever since I found out what it was going to cost me to have my home's foundation repaired. And then the stock market took a nose dive, and I started worrying about old age and medical bills... and it went down hill from there.

Honey, if it weren't for your lovely stories and mp3's and those of other lovely writers, I would have no way to get out of my own head sometimes. I've been reading like crazy to keep from thinking about all this shit, and you help keep me sane. Or as sane as I'll ever be.

Thank you for sharing your wonderful talent with us, for all you're doing for the smokingbaby project, and for letting me help with "alpha-listeing." You ROCK!

{{hugs you lots}}

[sandlappershell.livejournal.com]

Teddy, you make it easy to be your friend! Your friendship and advice and encouragement have certainly made my LJ experience a pleasure. Loves you back much.

[majorjune.livejournal.com]

I don't have a significant other on who to bounce things off of, in my case many decades ago someone I thought was a friend and cared eagerly solicited me to explain why I seemed unhappy. I was overjoyed that someone seemed to care, and I proceeded to unload all my woes over the next 15 to 20 minutes, to then be confronted with the statement that this friend knew plenty of other people with worse problems than me so who was I to complain? And then topped it off with "If you are aren't always happy, people won't like you!"

So I learned to shut up and not say anything when I'm not ecstatically happy.

For the past couple of weeks I've been in a "Why bother?" funk...

[teddyradiator.livejournal.com]

I hope that person is not someone who still considers herself your friend! That's not what friends do, babe. What's the saying? A friend will help you hide the evidence, but a TRUE friend will help you Incendio the bodies. What, no one says that? Well, I do, now!

A true friends hears you, offers help and advice, and breaks out the chocolate.

[madeleone]

Awww... there was a party and I missed it? Everyone gets down sometimes, you wouldn't be normal if you didn't.

Your writing is an inspiration, sweetie, don't be so hard on yourself.

I can't wait to read your exchange story, of course I won't know which one is yours until the end, but that's half the fun. :)

[teddyradiator.livejournal.com]

Thank you, sweetie. When I submitted it, I was convinced it was the best thing I've ever written. In the cold light of day, re-reading it, I'm not so sure.

Thank you for saying that about my writing. It about my writing that I despair so much; I would so love to do this for a living, but sometimes I think I'm just kidding myself.