Happy birthday, mywitch !!! 🎉

A very happy birthday to you, mywitch! This is also an friendaversary for us as well. A sorrow caused us to seek one another out, and from that moment began one of the most important friendships I have ever had the privilege to share.

I hope this day brings you joy and happiness, good booze, happy memories and all your favorite things.

Your number one fan, Teddy

Surviving Volunteer Week part 2

I am reaching the end of the second week of the volunteer work I so foolishly volunteered for.

Imagine to my horror, when my boss told me at the beginning of this week, that I had been singled out yet again to remain on this job, minus my two other fellow volunteers for an additional week. I am rather horrified to admit that I pitched what might be called a fucking hissy fit.

In all honesty, I didn't pitch a hissy fit, but I did tell her in no uncertain terms to please choose someone else. Aside from the fact that last year during the rush, I was singled out to return early from my management position back to the phones, I am doing this crappy job with the same two people from that time to this one, and I truly felt singled out again and felt it was unfair.

I think I must have made my absolute horror and frustration known, because shortly after, I was told I would not need to remain, but another one would remain in my place. While I was not exactly thrilled with throwing one of my colleagues under the bus, I am kind of proud of myself for standing up and telling them that a) it was an incredibly valueless job with a group of people who were so distant they had not even thanked us for helping, and b) so mind numbingly boring that I was losing the will to live with every passing hour.

It has been the slowest two weeks of my life. We three are absolutely falling apart with boredom and the futility of this pointless job. I'm done tomorrow, and on Monday I start back with the job that I love that gives me job satisfaction, support, encouragement, and above all the will to live. Other than that, I've just been counting minutes to get through these week. The next time someone asks me to volunteer for something, please remind me of this dreadful two weeks!

I've been back on Facebook for about 3 weeks now, give or take, and I am somewhat surprised to realize how boring it is there. I don't know exactly what I was expecting to find upon my return, but it's just so full of ads and repetitive junk I am wondering what the fuss was all about. It was nice to be welcomed back by so many people and it's lovely to see my friends there, but I am steering clear of a lot of the political shit that caused me to leave in the first place, not to mention the obvious crap with Trev.

And I also have been avoiding friending mutual friends just because I don't want to really see him there. I am going to hang around a bit, and see if it's worth it, and then make a decision to stay or leave again. I'm in a rather fickle frame of mind about Facebook at the moment.

Finally, I've had a better week inside my head. I have been working on positive thinking, looking forward instead of looking back, which only served to fill my head with regret and pain. Instead, I've been sending out to the universe what I need and trying to find a way to achieve it. I think I am at the beginning of true healing, but I know that won't really start until he is finally gone for good. That will be a strange day for me, and I don't know exactly how I'm going to deal with it, but I know that I AM going to deal with it.

Of course, there are still times when I am afraid and sad, and I worry about dealing with the loneliness. But there are also times when I sense my days as peaceful and full of opportunities, and it's in those moments that I really do glimpse what a good future I can make of this.