It Took Its Sweet Time

[teddy_radiator]

Okay, I guess it's official. I'm weird. It's taken a week before the PCD (post con depression) hit me. I was too busy working my fat backside off last week upon my return to notice. Now that I have a little breathing room, I'm having all sorts of strange dreams about con - which involve my father, grandfather, and one of my uncles. All who have passed. They came to see me on Sunday at Con, and I was frantically trying to get to my talk at 11:30, but had to find my notes. WTF, people?

I dreamed about Con all night.

Well, it was a very important experience, and one that was very emotional in many ways for me. I guess everyone feels that way when you are saturated with such intensity for almost a week. The best thing is the friendships I made and the ones I increased, and the insights I gained about others and myself.

To be honest, though, I really need to get cracking on with things, so please, brain, get it out of your system and let me just have the normal strange dreams, TYVM.

Allergies have been reported in the 'Holy Crap, It's Bad' category this year, and I believe it. I've not had a bad bout with allergies in more years that I care to remember, but I'm really struggling. Wheezing, head full of porridge, gummy eyes, the Full Yuck. And allergy medicine, while very effective, knocks me unconscious. The non-drowsy stuff makes my heart race sickeningly, so I just have to deal with it. I either suffer, or sleep.Boo.

The good news is I ran my very dark fic idea by stgulik and not only did she not run screaming from it, but actually said, "It's a solid story line." She also said it was too multi-layered for the prompfest prompt, so I need to save it. This is a good thing; I don't think I could finish it before the end of the month, and I do so want to write it. There are several things I have languishing in my 'Editing in Progress' file that I need to finish, and hopefully now with a little less traumatic work schedule I can to this. I have come to realise that work was seriously burning me out, and I'm still a little bit in recovery mode. The big problem was that nothing looked right anymore. I have sat on a chapter of HM for almost a month because I couldn't tell if it worked or not. It will be good to revisit and see if I have any more clarity of vision over it.

Hugs to everyone who needs them. I know many of my friends are going through a tough time right now; my thoughts are with you, and I hope you find some peace and comfort in everyday tranquility.

Comments

[teddyradiator.livejournal.com]

I see your point entirely. I didn't mind the hugs, but the big set pieces where everyone was there left me feeling distinctly out of my element. At the ball, there I was in all my finery, and all I really wanted to do was leave and return to the room. I would have, but I lost my camera (with my key in it) and waited until the end to see if we could locate it.

We also had a party in the room with what felt like 50 people in it (there wasn't, but it felt that way to me), and I started feeling like I wanted to just go somewhere very quiet and sleep. And, of course, I felt guilty for feeling that way, because the majority of the people in the room were lovely and a joy to be around.

For someone who loves to show off like myself, you'd think I'd be in my element, but there were times when it was overwhelming to the max, and the instinct to panic and run away was very great.

But you're right - some of the people I met were so special and wonderful, and I spent my time with them just basking in the glow of it. Strangely enough, they aren't the people I dreamed about - perhaps my mind has them tucked away in a special place free from conflict.

I'm surprised your ears weren't burning, though. Favourite fanfics was a topic that came up one night, and yours were mentioned by many. Your fanfic is still counted among the best in our fandom by a lot of people.

[bloodcult.livejournal.com]

well it's nice to be remembered.

[irishredlass.livejournal.com]

Honey I know how you feel. You should have said something in the room because I could have squirreled you away without a qualm. I too need quiet time.

[teddyradiator.livejournal.com]

{{{Hugs}}} Well, you know how it is. I didn't want to be party pooper deluxe, and there was no real place to go but the bathroom! The Snake Pit was otherwise occupied at the time ;) LOL