Holy bad rom-com! Fuck, all I could think of is, "This would be a hilarious nightmare for Severus to find himself being married to a tacky, dumpy, American wanna-be Mary Sue in some Nachos & Beer fanfic." Talk about the makings of a crackfic, a la "Mission: Get Dobby Laid."

There were horses in the barn? They didn't clear out and air it from the horse shit? OMG. The smell and the flies. And with food? With horse flies? Fuck me sideways with a rusty pitchfork.

And no contingencies if it should rain? *Shakes Head*

To quote Monty Python and the Holy Grail, "Run away! Run away!"

My goodness. If you don't write about Severus having a nightmare of a wedding disaster of this epic proportions, I may just have to.