Teddy! Thank you so much! This is a wonderful series, with exactly the tension and angst and sexual power that I associate with this pair. It's my favorite Snape pairing by far, for just the reasons you show here.
I think the second-person works very well. It's one of my favorite pov strategies, but it's difficult to do well, so that it seems necessary to the narrative and not just a gimmick. It fits the situation here -- it's so clear why Minerva needs to distance herself from the memories and moments, how she probably feels unconnected even to herself. That's just what second-person is for. (I've written a few second-person stories myself, two for Star Trek: Voyager and two for HP, so I know how difficult it can be).
You strike just the right tone here -- heartbreaking but not overly-sentimental. Tough and sad, just like the characters. Parts and lines I like:
--Section 1, that Severus "catalogues" her responses; of course he would. And his "dour pleasure" -- perfect.
--Section 2 -- It doesn’t mean you don’t miss his prickly, urgent, fiery passion, feverish between sheets. Great description.
--Section 3 -- I love Minerva's self-awareness and her IC huffing and how well SS knows her. And of course, "fuck Albus." No wonder Snape laughs.
--Section 4 -- he says in that tone of voice; the one that makes you do things you’ve never done to another man. Oh, yes.
--Section 5 -- almost spirals you down through the floor with pain Great image
And this excellent line: he is almost gone even as he pulls himself over you like a blanket. Oh, ouch. Such a fine juxtaposition of comfort and pain.
Great ending, too.
Such a treat, and I can't thank you enough. *This* is why I love Severus/Minerva.
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I think the second-person works very well. It's one of my favorite pov strategies, but it's difficult to do well, so that it seems necessary to the narrative and not just a gimmick. It fits the situation here -- it's so clear why Minerva needs to distance herself from the memories and moments, how she probably feels unconnected even to herself. That's just what second-person is for. (I've written a few second-person stories myself, two for Star Trek: Voyager and two for HP, so I know how difficult it can be).
You strike just the right tone here -- heartbreaking but not overly-sentimental. Tough and sad, just like the characters. Parts and lines I like:
--Section 1, that Severus "catalogues" her responses; of course he would. And his "dour pleasure" -- perfect.
--Section 2 -- It doesn’t mean you don’t miss his prickly, urgent, fiery passion, feverish between sheets.
Great description.
--Section 3 -- I love Minerva's self-awareness and her IC huffing and how well SS knows her. And of course, "fuck Albus." No wonder Snape laughs.
--Section 4 -- he says in that tone of voice; the one that makes you do things you’ve never done to another man. Oh, yes.
--Section 5 -- almost spirals you down through the floor with pain
Great image
And this excellent line: he is almost gone even as he pulls himself over you like a blanket.
Oh, ouch. Such a fine juxtaposition of comfort and pain.
Great ending, too.
Such a treat, and I can't thank you enough. *This* is why I love Severus/Minerva.